I dont know how to handle it anymore

I used to imagine things since i was in elementary every time I am left alone in the house i had a lot of thoughts coming to my mind like i feel like im in fairytale, or in movies or something important events happened in someone else’s life that i also want to have. Im into making scenarios in my head and acting like its really happening it always happened to me every time i am alone. And now im 20 years old, and my daydreaming got worse. It started when i met this boy named Matthew who later on became my boyfriend he was the sweetest and most loving person who made me feel everything, he was my bestfriend and my comfort but then everything changed when he has to be put in rehabilitation center because of multiple suicide attempt as he was so emotional back then that everytime we have a small fight he will cut his wrist, people sometimes told him that he was a little obsessed with me bcos he cannot control his emotion anymore and it became worst. After getting into rehab i didnt hear anything from him anymore his family blames me for what happened to him they were all mad at me which i truly understand so I dont know how to contact him, i just waited him in misery with no assurance if he would still love me. 6 months passed by, he’s back but a total different man. We decided to continue our relationship in secret bcos we dont want our family to be messed up again. But then he really changed and caused me so much pain and stress, cheated on me, gaslighted me and lied to me many times i tried to endure it for 3 months, i tried to understand him but he always put me in situation where I would cry all night because of pains, i feel so down and so , i just wish he will be back in his old self those times that he still love me so dearly unlike now he’s treating me like a piece of shit. And That is when i started to daydream a boy whose like a hero to me, i created this man named Rj a perfect guy who saved me from this misery he was like an ideal boy of every girls dream, everytime i am , weary, uncomfortable, suspicious, doubtful, etc he would always comfort, everytime i talked to him i became okay,. since then i feel like he’s real and everything that i imagine feels like real as well.. He would usually appear everytime I am in the comfort room (cr), i made variouse love story that involve me and him and matthew where i made mat as the antagonist and when theres huge issue on social media, or everytime i read an interesting topic or saw a part of movie I would usually imagine that it is happening to me with that boy. It got worst because sometimes it last for 3 hours to be over, im having trouble in sleeping, sometimes im talking to myself without me knowing, arguing with someone that doesnt really exist and worst is... im in great desperation now because i really want him to be in my real life, i want to find him i know its impossible bcos it was just all made up but i dont know... i just really need him now i want to everything to be real. Im so uncomfortable now bcos im so desperate to find him. I just now realize this happend to me because of matthew, I want to create a Matthew in my own world that will live me just like how he used to love me when we were just started, and I found RJ, in order to cover all the shortcomings of matthew I created Rj, everything that i wished matthew will be i put that in the man i made to make me feel better, to ease the pain that i am feeling right now. But I want to stop it anymore, it really affects me emotionally and to my responsibility. I became so attached to rj that sometimes i feel lime hes really real and i cant lose him but it really disturbs my life now i want to stop it now but i dont know how. Help me how to get out of this Please please please!!!