Notes About the Concept of Recovery
Jun 29, 2020 20:40:08 GMT
someone, camilasso, and 1 more like this
Post by Sam on Jun 29, 2020 20:40:08 GMT
TW: self-harm mention
Hi, everyone! I haven't created a thread like this in a while, but I've been thinking about this recently and thought I'd share.
Basically, I want to talk about the concept of recovery from MD in the context of other compulsive behaviors. The one I'm going to use is self-harm because that's the one that I have the most experience with personally.
Obviously, it would be just fantastic if recovery meant never feeling the urge to engage in the behavior again. And right now, when you feel powerless to resist the urge, it probably feels like that would be the only way you could ever be "recovered." But that's unfortunately not how it works.
Compulsive behaviors, when repeatedly engaged in over months or years, literally change the neural pathways in your brain. That's one of the reasons why it's so difficult to stop--because it literally changed the way that your brain functions and responds to stimuli. This is especially true of compulsive behaviors that involve actual substances like alcohol or drugs.
So I would love to say that once you recover you'll never feel the urge again, but its simply not true. Leaning on the example of self-harm, which is an unhealthy coping mechanism that works similarly to MD, I haven't actively self-harmed in 6 1/2 years. I have not purposefully self-harmed in over 6 years and I still feel the urge sometimes. Especially during times when I'm very stressed, when I'm in situations where I used to self-harm, or when other people are talking about it. The frequency and intensity of the urge have decreased greatly (partly due to replacing it with MD), but even after 6 years of not actively self-harming, the urge is still there.
What has changed is my ability to respond to the urge in a healthier way. Back when I used to self-harm, when I felt the urge it was nearly impossible to resist. It felt, the same way that MDing does, that nothing would give me the same feeling of release. Now, when I feel the urge to self-harm, it doesn't have that same sense of urgency. Even when the urge is very strong, my ability to resist it and chose to do something healthier to address the trigger is stronger.
Part of this is your perspective about the urges. Now, when I get the urge to self-harm, it's much easier for me to look at it objectively and allow it to be. I don't label it as bad or wrong, it just IS. Urges and thoughts can't hurt you, even if it feels like they can. Back when I was self-harming, and now with my MD, I'm subconsciously labeling the urges as bad or wrong, like I SHOULDN'T be having them, that its WRONG to be having them. That label of "bad" (even if you aren't consciously aware of labeling it as such) only increases the urge because now you want to escape from the unpleasant feeling of believing your thoughts to be wrong or bad in addition to the urge you got from the original trigger.
Once neural pathways, such as those associated with compulsive behaviors, are formed, you can't really get rid of them, like ever. What you can do is form new ones by changing your response to the urges and triggers to something healthier. Over time, those neural pathways for healthier responses become stronger than the original one for the unhealthy response, so even though you might still get the urge to engage in the unhealthy response, it's easier to choose something healthier because those pathways have become stronger.
Hi, everyone! I haven't created a thread like this in a while, but I've been thinking about this recently and thought I'd share.
Basically, I want to talk about the concept of recovery from MD in the context of other compulsive behaviors. The one I'm going to use is self-harm because that's the one that I have the most experience with personally.
Obviously, it would be just fantastic if recovery meant never feeling the urge to engage in the behavior again. And right now, when you feel powerless to resist the urge, it probably feels like that would be the only way you could ever be "recovered." But that's unfortunately not how it works.
Compulsive behaviors, when repeatedly engaged in over months or years, literally change the neural pathways in your brain. That's one of the reasons why it's so difficult to stop--because it literally changed the way that your brain functions and responds to stimuli. This is especially true of compulsive behaviors that involve actual substances like alcohol or drugs.
So I would love to say that once you recover you'll never feel the urge again, but its simply not true. Leaning on the example of self-harm, which is an unhealthy coping mechanism that works similarly to MD, I haven't actively self-harmed in 6 1/2 years. I have not purposefully self-harmed in over 6 years and I still feel the urge sometimes. Especially during times when I'm very stressed, when I'm in situations where I used to self-harm, or when other people are talking about it. The frequency and intensity of the urge have decreased greatly (partly due to replacing it with MD), but even after 6 years of not actively self-harming, the urge is still there.
What has changed is my ability to respond to the urge in a healthier way. Back when I used to self-harm, when I felt the urge it was nearly impossible to resist. It felt, the same way that MDing does, that nothing would give me the same feeling of release. Now, when I feel the urge to self-harm, it doesn't have that same sense of urgency. Even when the urge is very strong, my ability to resist it and chose to do something healthier to address the trigger is stronger.
Part of this is your perspective about the urges. Now, when I get the urge to self-harm, it's much easier for me to look at it objectively and allow it to be. I don't label it as bad or wrong, it just IS. Urges and thoughts can't hurt you, even if it feels like they can. Back when I was self-harming, and now with my MD, I'm subconsciously labeling the urges as bad or wrong, like I SHOULDN'T be having them, that its WRONG to be having them. That label of "bad" (even if you aren't consciously aware of labeling it as such) only increases the urge because now you want to escape from the unpleasant feeling of believing your thoughts to be wrong or bad in addition to the urge you got from the original trigger.
Once neural pathways, such as those associated with compulsive behaviors, are formed, you can't really get rid of them, like ever. What you can do is form new ones by changing your response to the urges and triggers to something healthier. Over time, those neural pathways for healthier responses become stronger than the original one for the unhealthy response, so even though you might still get the urge to engage in the unhealthy response, it's easier to choose something healthier because those pathways have become stronger.
