Hi, I’m honestly kinda nervous to write stuff here because I know my MD is really serious but I’ve honestly never opened up about it to anyone. Guess getting out of your comfort zone is always nice right?
But um, I’m Kay I’m turning 20 in a month. I’ll find myself daydreaming for hours, creating characters and scenarios I like better than the ones I’m experiencing and escaping the world I’m in. I never thought of it as a coping mechanism I just thought I was weird but it’s literally been a coping mechanism since I was a toddler. It sucks sometimes honestly, I create this perfect world for a few minutes or hours where the things I desire most (specifically, love and someone who genuinely loves me) are all there and with me! I’m smiling to myself and making all the faces and sometimes murmuring to myself as i lose myself in this world. And then I have to come back to this reality and all of the happiness fades. So I try to go back into my head asap to feel good again. It really is a vicious cycle and I sometimes wish I could find happiness in the present world around me, but idk how... So yeah, it’s nice to be able to vent about this kind of stuff and see all of your responses so I know that I’m not alone. Thanks for hearin me out
Post by pacingdreamer on Jul 30, 2020 11:41:04 GMT
I know exactly what you mean!!! When I do it, I have to run back and forth. But yes, my parents said I started doing it as soon as I could run around 2/3 years old. I asked them if they found it odd and they just figured I enjoyed running! My mom said she would ask me, "what are you doing when you run?" And I'd reply, "I m " wish they found it more troublesome. Maybe it could have been nipped in the bud if it was dealt with sooner. It's like I'm the dealer and the addict at the same time.