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Post by kadath on Aug 3, 2020 22:43:29 GMT
I have had the standard symptoms of MD, pacing and creating worlds or imagining experiences. I remember being very happy I could entertain myself regardless of where I went.
Mostly my problem is I continuously imaging talking to people, or communicating on the internet. When I listen to a song, I picture how friends or amyone would react to it and visualize the whole exchange. I even change the song based on what I think they'd have an interesting reaction too.
Sometimes when I'm stressed I picture the people around me griping about what I'm doing, and feel the emotional reaction and plan how to deal with it, even though 99 percent of the time it doesn't happen.
I have this a lot actually, and feel the stress, anger and anxiety of these situations progressing.
The parts that are the most distressing to me are that it seems to impair my interactions with others in ways I don't fully understand.
Sometimes it's like I pictured how a later convo would go I feel the need to stick to a script, and ignore reads or feel really uncomfortable if they don't react how I thought. I also feel like it makes my interactions with them stilted and awkward, maybe because I am trying to relieve anxiety by daydreaming and this feeds into it.
It can get very bad when I'm talking to someone, I lose all perspective of myself or what I'm saying and immerse myself in picturing what I'm talking about and my sentences are very poorly formed and not in tune with the convo. I also picture what they are going to say next and get into this weird limbo where the convo pulls me from the visualization and the visualization pulls me from the convo.
I imagine the next thing I'm going to do a lot, which would seem productive but I actually get that clumsiness and directionless wandering like I'm daydreaming, so I feel it is the same behavior.
It's funny because I had stopped myself before through willpower and thought this stuff was rumination and OCD. But then started again because I thought I was worried over nothing.
The pacing and imaginary world were what led me to MD, I am convinced this other stuff is as well but would like other opinions and possible correlative experiences. Thank you.
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Post by fabello90 on Aug 3, 2020 23:20:52 GMT
I can completely relate to this. I do this a lot too. I used to do it more when I was a teenager, but there would be times when I’d have imaginary conversations with friends and family while looking in the mirror. They’ve even been so intense and real that I’ve burst into tears, usually when imagining a breakup or an argument. I’ve even imagined marriage proposals and cried with happiness... It can be really frustrating when I’m imagining how a conversation goes while actually talking to people. I also stumble on my words and struggle to put sentences together when having real conversations.
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Post by kadath on Aug 4, 2020 1:04:54 GMT
I can completely relate to this. I do this a lot too. I used to do it more when I was a teenager, but there would be times when I’d have imaginary conversations with friends and family while looking in the mirror. They’ve even been so intense and real that I’ve burst into tears, usually when imagining a breakup or an argument. I’ve even imagined marriage proposals and cried with happiness... It can be really frustrating when I’m imagining how a conversation goes while actually talking to people. I also stumble on my words and struggle to put sentences together when having real conversations.  thank you, I was hoping to hear something like this, but wasn't going to expect it, let alone this soon! Very comforting to hear, but  you are going through this as well. I have a lot of ones telling people off, and some follow a pretty funny predictable pattern of ->they arrange to jump me->I struggle and lose or->win and have to explain the situation to the police->end up in court or jail or threatening them to leave me alone. Except it makes me avoid confronting people, and if I do actually watch out for cars approaching me or in one instance download an app to record voice in case they accosted me. Man, thanks again, word about this needs to spread more and info on its various permutations. I knew something was wrong but had no idea what, and being fantasy prone I thought I had all kinds of disorders, which I'm sure typifies most people with this. What I do to shut it out is read, listen to a book or song, or really really pay attention to my senses, especially sight. I actually did this all the time a few years ago, I have dementophobia as well and so I ended up  I was shuttijg out a normal process because I had no idea this existed.
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Post by denisealuqah on Aug 4, 2020 15:33:35 GMT
Oh, yes I do this all the time. It is my dominant form of daydreaming since I can do it with no effort, and while I'm doing something else (e.g. monotonous work, talking to others, driving, etc..) I often have these daydreams when I'm upset. I'll imagine someone yelling at me/mistreating me and I'll react and tell them off (usually in a long angry monologue in which I bring up several points on why the other person is in the wrong before I storm out/flip tables or something). I also imagine someone asking me questions about the situation so I can explain myself. I call these "interview daydreams" because they usually involve me answering a lot of questions about my thought process, and not having to listen to the other character's opinion. I also have "interview daydreams" when I'm  about a new topic, learn something new, when I accomplish something in real life and when I accomplish something in the real world. Another form of my interview daydreams are "lecture daydreams" where I just stand in front of a crowd or class and explain a concept. My theory is that my anger/monologue daydreams are my way of expressing anger without a) being laughed at b) having my feeling dismissed or c) having another person be angry with me for being upset and pointing out my mistakes. I believe my interview daydreams are my way of  things through/ replacing the ability to bounce ideas off another person because usually people do not listen or, as you said, they do not react the way I hoped. I find it disappointing that everything I say seems to be either boring or wrong. I am tired of arguing and trying to convince people to have an interest in things that I love. I also have trouble in regular conversations and saying things out loud never sound the same as they do in my head. Even if I know the exact way to explain something, I find it very difficult to put that into words and then speak those words. Usually, arguments end in me being too upset to come up with something to say, and the other person assuming they have made their point. If I am not careful I will mispronounce works, mix up works, and even blend words together so my sentence sounds like absolute jibberish and not even I remember what the point was. In contrast, I do [sometimes] enjoy debates because I spend so much time imagining the argument. Usually, by the time the debate comes, I have already imagined most of the counter-arguments, which is great for preparation (although this does not always work. If I am taken by surprise I'm pretty much finished unless given proper time to think).
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Post by ortrud on Aug 5, 2020 16:24:43 GMT
Ah, thank you for this thread! Same here! The amazing things that I say in my head. From voicing my opinions for a news reporter (TOTALLY THE "INTERVIEW DAYDREAM," NOW I HAVE A NAME FOR IT!) to giving speeches to save someone from angry mobs, to perfectly dressing down someone who is bothering me. I am completely lost in reality - when something happens it takes me eons to appropriately react, but in my daydreams, I am a goddess. I've started telling myself to either save it for reality or to write it down - we'll see if that works. I have so many imagined conversations that it causes me to actually speak very little to people in reality - or maybe the daydreaming is born of the shyness. I lack the movement/pacing thing that I have read about or that shows up in the "do you have md" online quizzes - I tend to be completely still when daydreaming or just engaged in everyday tasks.
I also have either save people (the latest was my giving CPR because I'm terrified I'll have to do it in reality since taking a refresher course) to the scary daydreams I have of hurting someone - always in self-defense and I would not hurt anyone in reality, but still a scary daydream because an entire 30 minute commute on the subway can be filled with these fantasies brought on by someone who is rude to me. I actually find my heartrate going up and my head flushed just as if I'm in a real rage. Probably not healthy or maybe it's a self-stimulation because I tend to be so passive.
I also have fantasies of writing in Facebook - either reaching out or posting really cool stuff to boost my popularity. I actually rarely post anything at all and I'm one of those people that just "likes" everything.
Ah, good times.
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