Introduction - just checking in

It feels very weird to be writing this, as I'm an intensely private person. I am relieved to find out that I am not the only person who struggles with this, though - I had totally thought that there couldn't be anyone else like me, because when I'd gotten up the nerve to mention my excessive "daydream stories" to a couple different psychologists over the years, it didn't seem like anything they'd ever heard of before, and didn't really seem like it was significant to them, though it's been hugely significant to me. The intense daydreaming started for me when I was a kid when I would escape to my room and try to tune out the loud and frightening arguments that my guardians were having downstairs - I was also an only child, so it probably also developed as a way to pass the time. But it started to become problematic as a teenager when I would spend days at a time - even weeks during the summer when school was out - in daydreams instead of socializing or getting involved in activities - I'm in my mid-forties now, so I can honestly say I've lost years of my life to this. And I grieve the life that I could have had.

But it's good to know that I'm not the only one. I do find message boards to be of limited help - it's easy to feel trapped in my own mind again, and easy to avoid real contact and vulnerability with people - almost as though the rest of you on this forum are just as imaginary as my daydream people. But still, even the knowledge that I'm not the only person in the whole world like this, when I really thought I must be - it does make me feel a bit more connected with humanity and not so unreal. And not so crazy - I can say, "See - I was right! This problem does exist and I'm not exaggerating!" A long way round of saying I feel validated now