Post by hayalperestserguzest on Sept 7, 2020 21:53:26 GMT
First of all i wanna say hi and it feels good to know that i am not lonely at all. My native language is not English so i may not explain myself clearly. I don’t even know that how many people will read this. Nobody maybe? I want to write so many things and i suppose everyone can find somethings from theirselves from my writing. It is so magical that no matter who you are, where you are, what language you speak you can feel the same thing. It is universal.
I should tell myself now. I am 17 years and live in Turkey. Ever since i could remember i am a daydreamer. I never changed. And i knew that i was different from my coevals. Because even if we all experience the same things, i would feel different. I always have a trouble about forgetting the past. Because i live the past everyday. A new version everyday. About love,friendship family etc. About everything. I listen to music at least 3-4 hours a day. And i always walk in the house while i am doing it until my legs hurt. I didn’t care until this month. I realized that i am tired of this. I am tired of chasing somethings that even won’t happen. I am tired of falling to guys that doesn’t exist. I am tired of myself. I am studying to university exam but i can’t even study because it is so unreal to me.
I should tell myself now. I am 17 years and live in Turkey. Ever since i could remember i am a daydreamer. I never changed. And i knew that i was different from my coevals. Because even if we all experience the same things, i would feel different. I always have a trouble about forgetting the past. Because i live the past everyday. A new version everyday. About love,friendship family etc. About everything. I listen to music at least 3-4 hours a day. And i always walk in the house while i am doing it until my legs hurt. I didn’t care until this month. I realized that i am tired of this. I am tired of chasing somethings that even won’t happen. I am tired of falling to guys that doesn’t exist. I am tired of myself. I am studying to university exam but i can’t even study because it is so unreal to me.
) Anyway, I totally understand how you feel when you're home. It's nice and fun to be around people but relationship with real friends almost always feels much more shallow than with imaginary ones.
i am to read stories and fanfiction. i keep getting anxieties everytime when i focus in the reality. im tired too, and 
that the fictional world and characters dont exist, like your life has no meaning to it. im still trying to forget them but its too hard.