uhm... hello?

im writing about this for the first time so im a little nervous. i discovered MD a few days ago in a random video. i was really nervous when i realized it was describing a very large part of my life. it was the first time i faced the harms of dreaming and living in these dreams. it has always been a relief for me, a way to escape, but now my perspective has changed a lot. but still very confused about this. :( the wall it built between me in the real world turns me into a nervous, insecure person, but being in my own world with my own people makes me feel safe. and happy, neither real things. actually i'm still undecided about how i will feel about this but i hope this from can help me. i have lived in dreams since my childhood, but i can say that this has been at the center of my life since the beginning of high school. first, i started not to dream with what I wanted, then i tried to live my dreams instead of my real life. i was suddenly talking to myself in the crowd, looking at an empty spot. it's a little worse nowadays, you know, quarantine cases. as a result, this situation is long out of my control, but i still haven't decided if this is harmful. i didn't even think it was a 'problem' until I watched the video about MD. this worries me. i should try to get rid of something stolen from my life, right? i can not. i often felt lonely about it, unless we count children much younger than me. it's good to know that i'm not alone after all.