I'm new here and I'm not even sure about I've got MD. Also English is my second language so I'll try to explane myself. I always dream. There is my real friends in my dreams but not like our normal life. In this dreams they always love me and interests in me. I'm dating with the boy who I like. But irl he's my bff. When I wake up in the morning, he's with me. But I know it's a lie. In this year I've got an exam for univercity. I can't even study for it. If I don't study I can't study in an awesome univercity and then my future is gonna be shit. There is one thing more. I'm a girl but not like a girl. I'm feeling myself as a man. And in my dreams I am! I can feel it! They are soo real! I don't want to belive that it's just a dream. Sometimes I can't control my dreams. For example, my dad leaves me and I can't stop dreaming it. Then I cry. In the evening when my dad comes back home, I hate him. But he doesn't know. I repeat that "This is only dream. He's still your papa." but sometimes it doesn't work. Sometimes I hurt myself cuz of the things that I lived in this dreams. There's a lot of things like that. I always dream when I listen to music. But music is my only love. It's my everything. I can't give it up. Also, I don't need music to dreaming. Even now, I'm dreaming that what is gonna happen after I will share this. Sometimes I dream the people that I saw in the movies or series. If I see someone, I can't stop dreaming of this person. I don't want this. My dreams are out of the control!
As I said before, English is my second language. So I'm sorry if I made mistakes
Hey Azul, I’m sorry that your MD is interfering with your studies. I’m if this would help you, but it helps me from time to time. I have gotten good at recognizing what I MD about, and I have gotten better at catching myself in the MD process. When I catch myself, there is typically a visual scene happening in my head, and what I do is pretend to have a gun or sword and shoot or slash the scene in my head out of existence for a while. Sometimes my thoughts pop right back up which is annoying though. Also, do you think you would be happier if you appeared as a boy to everyone else? I’m if where you live is accepting of trans people or not, but you could potentially be trans and benefit from being a boy instead of a girl in this life. Sometimes I imagine myself as a boy in my daydreams, I would probably be trans right now if I didn’t also imagine myself as a girl. I’m what is going on with me exactly, but I feel both masculine and feminine.
Yes, I'm that I'm trans, too. But my country doesn't accept of trans people. I need to leave my family and all of my friends. And thanks for help! I will use ur method. Sometimes I catch myself too. But I like it so I don't want to ending. I mean, sometimes I don't even want to heal but I really can do anything. My parents call me 'lazy' cuz of that. I usually try to write somethings. Stories, diaries and more. And I'm bad at contact to people so there's not a lot of people can take me off from my dreams. I'm spending all day in my bed. I was athlete before. But now, I really can do anything. Today I didn't study! Ever! I can't fit my schedule. Idk what will I do at the univercity :/
Post by worldswithinworlds7 on Sept 22, 2020 13:13:56 GMT
Don't know if you will read this as it seems to have been a few weeks since it was posted but... I present as a female but consider myself male and trans without transitioning. I just can live with it in big part because of MD. I am able to live as many mens lives as I want to in my head and that helps me cope with the impossible situation of transitioning. I always follow male characters in my daydreams. I have very few female characters and I rarely get in their heads. I dont know how to help you stop dreaming but I think you might benefit from gaining some control over it. I would start with the basics. Google "How to control Maladaptive daydreaming" and I am sure you will find tons of tips and steps to take. Its good that you are aware that it is your dreams making you feel the emotions you feel like being angry with your dad. When I see something that bothers me or read something disturbing, my characters go through it or something similar so I dont need to feel that feeling myself but can shove it off on someone else. I am wondering how you might compartmentalize your emotions so that things in your dreams do not have negative emotional repercussions in life. You might just have to trick your brain with repetition. I hope you are okay. You can message me if you need to talk... if thats something that one can do on this site. Idk, Im new.
Hey azul, you mentioned how when you do catch yourself MD you don't want it to end. I wanted to share my most effective trick and I hope it helps. I developed this little trick when I was younger because I was aware of MD(didn't know that's what it was tho) but I also have ADHD, so distraction to the max. Do stop myself I would imagine a) a door slamming over my MD world and friends because I was busy and couldn't play right now or b) I would imagine a two walls just crushing my MD experience. However I have had to evolve this trick as I've grown. Now I do more of mental stop sign hand, and then gently remind myself that I'm doing other things right now, BUT that later tonight I will return to my MD world. So I just MD through my whole night time routine and it's like I'm treating myself at the end of the day, and is also something to look forward to. Another thing you could try is studying for an hour, and then rewarding yourself with half an hour or 45 minutes of MD, then go back to studying. Set a timer though because you don't want to lose track of time. Best of luck!
Hello azul! I'm new here too and I'm if you're going to red this but... I am studying for university too, and my first language is not English too (so I hope you can understand me). The part about your father really hit home, one of my very first memories was a constant daydream I had when I was a kid that my mom would leave me, or would get sick because of me. My grandma always said that if I bothered my mom she would die of stress. Even nowadays, I have very few intrusive thoughts, and almost none of them are violent, but this one about my mother always plague me. Regarding your gender problems, I can't say that I have experienced the same thing, as I currently recognize myself as a cis woman, yet I had a period when I was really questioning my identity and value as a female. My case probably won't be yours (as I never daydreamed of myself as male), but in my case I found out that my problems came from internalized misogyny, I thought women were inferior to men and had this hate towards other women, that only now I can address and change. But something that soothed my nerves during this time of doubt was the "not-naming-it". Long term can be difficult, but I used to think to myself: "When I'm and independent adult I will find out if I'm a man or not, for now I will just dress and talk the way I feel like.". I don't know if it will work for you at all, but even if you decide you're in fact trans, please put your safety first, okay? You don't have to come out if you think it'll put you in danger. I hope you're fine, and that you find solace in this forum.