Post by Anonymous130919 on Sept 10, 2020 9:48:48 GMT
I recently heard about MD. I have never been diagnosed with anything but I was bullied and isolated for a good portion of my life. I started daydreaming when I first got an iPod. I would listen to music in my car and in my head i would imagine myself as a superstar with a love interest and i would imagine my idols watching me perform or talking with me after the show and such(yes i know it sounds stupid, it feels stupid). As I got older, I kind of started living in this daydream. I imagine myself alongside people I idolize, with a love interest with me who is also my best friend. I imagine I’m performing infront of them or sometimes(goddamn this is hard to write I bate this part of myself) I eill find certain youtube videos where people do challenges or fun things with their friends(mostly smosh challenge videos...) and I will imagine i am in that situation as the video plays and I imagine the people in the video as these characters i’m friends with. This usually starts when I see a post by someone I idolize but it also can start when I’m bored and especially when I’m going to sleep. I’m 
if I have MD but I know that I’ve told myself that this is wrong and it is hurting my mental state because I recognize it isnt real but at the same time it is currently the only thing that produces any serotonin so i associate the feeling of happiness with this stupid daydreaming world now and I know I dont have it as bad as some other people might have it but I have NEVER told anyone about this and it is TERRIFYING. I’ve been living in variations of the same world in which I’m the main character for at least 5 years. Idk what to do. I would appreciate some validation cause i currently feel like a fucking loser who doesn’t have anything wrong with her its just that I’m that pathetic... Oh well thanks for listening if you did. Leave a comment w ur experience if u want I would love to read it.
if I have MD but I know that I’ve told myself that this is wrong and it is hurting my mental state because I recognize it isnt real but at the same time it is currently the only thing that produces any serotonin so i associate the feeling of happiness with this stupid daydreaming world now and I know I dont have it as bad as some other people might have it but I have NEVER told anyone about this and it is TERRIFYING. I’ve been living in variations of the same world in which I’m the main character for at least 5 years. Idk what to do. I would appreciate some validation cause i currently feel like a fucking loser who doesn’t have anything wrong with her its just that I’m that pathetic... Oh well thanks for listening if you did. Leave a comment w ur experience if u want I would love to read it.
