All my life, ive been daydreaming ever since i was a kid. while i know it is normal for a child to daydream, mine i started to read story/fantasy books when i was in my early teenw. For years i keep reading stories and fanfiction and i daydream for hours, i was there with them or i was the protagonist myself. Its beginning to affect my social life and my studies, for years i keep daydreaming until now i realize what i was doing to myself right now(During the Covid Pandemic Lockdown).
I realize that im lonely right now, even i know my parents love me and supported my decisions, but i still felt lonely and i started to realize that was being very lazy in my studies and it made me feel stupid and an idiot. i dont even know if i grown attached or obsessed these fictional characters ive read. Every time i to study it will only reach up to 30 minutes, because i keep daydreaming and eager to read the next story and then i started to get ideas to write my own stories and fanfiction. I just realize that i just wasted 2 decades of my life, living in my own fantasy world. and then i realize the reason why i did this is because i was using it to cope my pain, i was bullied when i was in elementary up to middle-school, my social skills aren't so great, i was an extrovert back then until i became an introvert because i gave up in socialising people my age and started reading stories, and i'm having difficult to study my own and didnt ask my parents for help because of my pride or laziness or something. I was living in the fantasy world because it was it is more easy and that the people in my imagination respected me and admire me.
A few nights ago i confessed my family everything that I've wasted years in my social life and education all because to cope my pain by living in fictional world and i admit i cried right in front of them, I'm even beginning to have some suicide thoughts. Right now, im beginning to to feel fear, anxious on what would happen to me in the future. While i know that its better to focus in present and not in the past & future, its been in my head for a few weeks. my anxiety keeps coming back. every physical activity i do, every scenery i see reminds me on what i've missed or did. every time daydream, it brings back my fear. right now i don't know if i have the strength to make up all the years on all the mistakes ive done. my parents gave me a few tips and advices on how to treat my anxiety, i took one step at a time and i don't know when or how would i recover.
Im 19 yrs old and i don't know what to do with my life asides from reading or writing stories, even though i don't have the confidence, skills or energy to write. I am now a 2nd year college nursing student in the Cebu, Philippines. all i did is to sit lazily in the sofa and read stories or daydream. I dont know what should i do, and i fear if i abandon my fantasy world and the fictional characters ive grown attached, that i would become a different person. Its even hard to focus on what the teacher is discussing or my studies. ive been denying reality my whole life. i need a few tips and advices
How much of your daydreaming you "give up" is entirely up to you. I consider the goal of recovery to be to regain a sense of balance between real life and daydreams. So if you don't want to give up your characters and storylines, that's perfectly okay. Your goal isn't to stop daydreaming, it's to regain a balance so that your daydreaming doesn't impact your ability to function quite as much.
Don't give up what you want most for what you want now.
thanks, i appreciate the advice. what im really afraid of is what would i happen to me, i keep in what would happen to me if i fail, its been haunted in my mind every time when im back into reality. my greatest fear is to fail, alone, and no else to help me. even if i tried to prevent it, im if i have the confidence, purpose and the drive. i felt like i dont know what to do