|
Post by thedolphinbaby57 on Oct 29, 2020 23:28:48 GMT
I've been wanting to get on a recovery path for Madd for quite a little time now. It's hard I must say but I guess all recovery paths are hard. Ever since his pandemic my daydreaming gotten worse and has affected my mind a lot. It' seems like no matter what i do my mind is always in the clouds. I can't even wash my face or brush my teeth without pacing off into the next room. But recently I've been trying to manage it I'll say at the least by making up bed the first thing in the morning without daydreaming being the first thing in the morning. Every time I start to pace off while in the bathroom I catch myself and return back. Responding to the urge and replacing daydreaming with something else is gonna be really hard but I can do it. What I have done though is every time I do daydream I put a time limit on myself so I do't lose track of time. It goes from around 5-15 minutes. Sometimes I daydream over the limit so I must force myself to stop and do something else. I plan on journaling more since it gives a bit of self control and I can reflect on what has been going on with me for the past few months. I recently got a new app called reflectively where I can do mood check-ins and I put down little bullet points on how my day has been and what happened. I always imagine daydreaming as some demon that's took control of my head and keeps pulling and tugging at it which causes me to daydream or as if Madd is some evil kid who has an evil grin on his face and laughing manically while playing with the puppet and the puppet is my mind and it can't escape from the strings which would be the addiction and pain in some type of way. I also imagine daydreaming as a kind of ghostly presence that follows me around everywhere I go and never leaves my side ever. I hope you get what I'm trying to say here. I feel like I have been going insane and feeling paranoid even for no reason (or maybe it's the lack of sleep I'm getting) but I feel tired and confused and I take too long to figure things out. I hope it goes away but with the state I'm in probably not. One thing is for sure though, I know that I have internalized bi-phobia and that I may be bisexual which would be a huge turning point in my life. I don'r know what else to say here but Imma go for now. Let me know if you have any tips for this recovery which would be helpful. Thanks for reading
|
|