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Post by fellowmder on Oct 31, 2020 2:02:38 GMT
I am writing cause i just wanted to talk this out with someone. it has been a month, me failing to do my work and making tons of excuses with which i am getting away. i am in this state of daydreaming where i really can't take a step back because it has formed a loop for me. even if i try to take steps i am eventually getting back to giving up on reality and just ssimply drowning inside my daydreams. this giving up scenario happened two years ago as well before high school final exams. i remember i couldn't revise anything because of the lack of confidence in ever getting myself out of this loop of daydreaming, procrastination and guilt. this happening Again is excruciating. like i am working based on this feel coaster--- if i feel like i do it, if i don't (which i usually dont after 2-3 hours), i daydream and leave this world for good, finding myself trying again the next day. this has been going on for a month now and i am close to my finals now, this ain't gonna work in whatever situation now. has anyone felt like this and tried to do something to get out of it? another problem i encountered myself doing since last four years of daydreaming is raising myself over this high unreachable pedestal inside my daydreams- those daydreams are also about my near future like the class after two days is like this...this..this. when i do that and i fail to complete something the next day..i give up and start daydreaming. even if all this happens and i tell myself not to do it, just the next dau i just feel obliged to expect something from myself. like i have to do this much in order to justify myself that i worked on something but it just never happens. today is saturday and on monday i need to show my work. i remember last two months of regret, shame and guilt i feel every monday morning because of procrastinating. it makes me anxious and makes me want to daydream. it never makes me anxious enough to complete my work. have you find yourself in a similar situation? thanks for reading
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fairytale
Active Daydreamer
you are not a mistake
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Post by fairytale on Oct 31, 2020 10:18:32 GMT
yes, It happens to me too. Every time I try to complete the work a certain level of perfection and then when I can't seem to get anywhere near it I would start MDing. I know if I work on it more rather than MDing I might complete it with the level perfection I expect but I can't, once my mind realizes that my work is no where near perfection I would go into MDing. I also feel like I am using MDing as a reason for not being able to complete my work. It makes me feel guilty but I can't stop.
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Post by fellowmder on Nov 1, 2020 6:25:10 GMT
yes, It happens to me too. Every time I try to complete the work a certain level of perfection and then when I can't seem to get anywhere near it I would start MDing. I know if I work on it more rather than MDing I might complete it with the level perfection I expect but I can't, once my mind realizes that my work is no where near perfection I would go into MDing. I also feel like I am using MDing as a reason for not being able to complete my work. It makes me feel guilty but I can't stop. so true. today also i felt that i use daydreaming as an excuse to not work. it felt like i am just playing around and doing nothing and then at the end of the day i tell myself "oh i am a daydreamer". like not literally but it makes the same meaning..
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Post by madamebovary on Dec 6, 2020 10:52:11 GMT
I relate to this. I also get stunted by wanting everything I do to be perfect and thorough. I am still at university and in some classes, I want to understand everything fully, but reading the homework and taking exensive notes feels overwhelming, and I start daydreaming instead. This also ties to some trouble I have with concentrating when I have to read. My thougths wander off to daydreamland after a few minutes and eventually I decide I can just do the homework another day when I am more in the right mood. This has resulted in that I am severely behind in some classes and have read close to nothing of the syllabus. Now exams are very close, and I have finally begun studying, but now I have to change my approach and be effective but far from perfect. For some reason, I now have more motivation and am more optimistic. I guess getting something done, even though not very well, feels better than getting nothing done. I know that the only thing that works is to not daydream in the morning (or watch tv shows or videos online). If I do that, I will never get any energy back for real life, and I will get nothing done. This is how it turns out every single time, even though I tell myself some days that this day will not be like that. So I try to get up, get dressed and get started with doing something productive, even just for 30 minutes to begin with, so I dont feel like I spend all morning and noon on fantasy and excuses. I feel like being strict with my mornings like that helps, but I still feel the need to daydream, just not as strong. And I still feel the regret at not knowing the subject completely and perfectly, but it is still better than nothing. If I could accept that I don't need to be perfect either, maybe I wouldn't feel the need to daydream at all, but that is an even longer battle :)
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Post by thedolphinbaby57 on Dec 7, 2020 4:50:35 GMT
There are times where I daydream so much I can't work. When this happens, I just set my work aside and complete at a later time when I'm in the right mood and not space out a lot. I'm slow with my work and Madd makes me slower. I'm still able to get my work done on time but I also procrastinate. My grades in middle School weren't the best like the other kinds were, but I still managed to make it. Another thing is that whenever I'm doing something and I'm answering a question, mainly with a math question, if I can't find the answer then i'll start daydreaming and it makes me even slower to complete the problem. My mind tends to go to fantasy land when I daydream if I can't solve something right away. But now we have math apps that can help give us the answer now so i guess I'm good for now.
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Post by fellowmder on Dec 20, 2020 16:10:05 GMT
I relate to this. I also get stunted by wanting everything I do to be perfect and thorough. I am still at university and in some classes, I want to understand everything fully, but reading the homework and taking exensive notes feels overwhelming, and I start daydreaming instead. This also ties to some trouble I have with concentrating when I have to read. My thougths wander off to daydreamland after a few minutes and eventually I decide I can just do the homework another day when I am more in the right mood. This has resulted in that I am severely behind in some classes and have read close to nothing of the syllabus. Now exams are very close, and I have finally begun studying, but now I have to change my approach and be effective but far from perfect. For some reason, I now have more motivation and am more optimistic. I guess getting something done, even though not very well, feels better than getting nothing done. I know that the only thing that works is to not daydream in the morning (or watch tv shows or videos online). If I do that, I will never get any energy back for real life, and I will get nothing done. This is how it turns out every single time, even though I tell myself some days that this day will not be like that. So I try to get up, get dressed and get started with doing something productive, even just for 30 minutes to begin with, so I dont feel like I spend all morning and noon on fantasy and excuses. I feel like being strict with my mornings like that helps, but I still feel the need to daydream, just not as strong. And I still feel the regret at not knowing the subject completely and perfectly, but it is still better than nothing. If I could accept that I don't need to be perfect either, maybe I wouldn't feel the need to daydream at all, but that is an even longer battle I also try my best every morning- I have a form of schedule that runs till 12 but things start falling apart after that. This perfectionist attitude does create problems but I am trying to let go
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ren
New Daydreamer
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Post by ren on Dec 21, 2020 0:29:12 GMT
Yes. I understand you. I made two attempts at college and was thwarted both times because of MDD. I would be under pressure because of pervert professors or something in my personal life that would trigger my MDD. I didn't know what was happening to me at that point in time. In hindsight I know now. At least you're aware of your MDD at a young age. You have a good chance of learning coping skills that can help you through the pressures of school so you don't end up escaping into your MDD world every time there's a stressor. Even changing your diet can make improvements. So if I had a bad time being harassed by a professor for instance, I didn't realize that having even small amounts of caffeine and sugar made me hyper so that I was more likely to become more anxious and then impulsive which stressed me out and that would send me into an MDD episode. Alcohol was also a very bad thing that really fed into my MDD world. I would be up late night until early dawn in an MDD fantasy land if I had drinks the night before. I would rock from side to side fast and listen to music on low pitch or slow direct drive. I can't listen to music at home at all because of this. It can and will pull me in. Just be aware that things like alcohol, lots of sugar and caffeine can make things worse. For some even music is a bad idea. but true. Hope this helps
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