Hello all. I'm Max... it's nice to know I'm not the only one who does this.
The short of it is, like most of you, I've always been a daydreamer. I was that way as a kid and have always been described as that person that is inside their head. When I'd have idle time I'd crawl into the world inside my head and then snap out of it when I had things I'd have to do. I'm considered a creative and, as a kid, my family attributed my imagination and daydreaming to my creativity. It's never really been much of an issue and, in many cases, has helped me, including my career.
But that changed exactly 2 years and 1 day ago. When something negative would happen to me I'd crawl inside. Sometimes I'd figure things out by rebuilding that reality and looking at it at all angles (almost like going into that holodeck on Star Trek) and other times, I'd just escape and build a new, more pleasant reality when I needed a break. But 2 years ago I went through something that absolutely crushed me and I've found myself escaping into my head WAY more often than I ever have before. Since COVID I've had a lot more alone time and that has certainly not helped. I am much better now than I was 2 years ago... my friends, who'd seen what I'd gone through and were so very helpful and supportive, would all say that I'm back to my usual self... but they don't see the worlds I've created in my head to escape to when I'm alone.
Here's the kicker... I know that this isn't healthy, but I really enjoy escaping. As I'm sure is the case with many of you, things are very slow right now due to the pandemic. Because of that, it's comforting to go away to a more pleasing reality. I try to do things that pull me out of my head and limit it, but sometimes it's hard to pull away.
Anyway, recently I've started learning about this and trying to learn how to manage it better. But it's nice to know I'm not the only one.
The fact our MD is so enjoyable is what makes it so hard to quit and start to live in the real world. It's also highly unlikely that our real lives will ever match up to our fantasy lives but our daydreams stop us from even trying to find ways to have more fulfilling enriched real lives so we are stuck in a never ending cycle of wanting to change but not having enough of a reason to. Its a very frustrating situation to be in.