Question is why do you need it? Most of the people seek help to control it for better life. Everyone enjoy the morning rush of it.if you have stopped it then I suggest instead of hanging on to it how it was you should find something in real life which makes you happier Hey afterall you are getting a chance to explore more good luck.
I agree with you also in the fact that I wouldn't want it to leave me. I do find that some days my urge is not as strong to do it as some others. And some days the urge is more intense. I will tell you though through experience that the more you do it the more you want to do it. Since the pandemic started I find myself wanting to escape this reality world more frequently. It's my "safe" space. It removes me from the stresses we are going through in life right and makes me feel happy. I can pop out of it in a snap though and doesn't affect my daily life so I say why not. 😄