Have you ever spoken to a therapist and been assessed for PTSD and found anyone that could help you with your addiction issues? There are a lot of things that you have experienced in your life have been really traumatic so it might be worth trying to find a professional to talk these through with. I understand though you aren't in your home country and it may even mean waiting until things have become less restricted with the covid situation. You clearly have very good insight into your problems and that is a great start to being on the road to recovery.
Md is often a coping mechanism to distance ourselves from reality and that can include situations that we find hard to deal with, things can range from upsetting to even just plain boring and it really sounds like you have so many things in your past that you have needed to find a way to escape from.