I can still think about you. Can still dream about you. Something is very warn inside of me because of you. Because how I felt towards you. You are beautiful and I wish I could've helped you see that. I've known some of the ugliest parts of you, but I still see you as beautiful. You are full of untapped potential. You are a lovely human being. I wish I could have always made you feel that way. Wish I could have always felt it and always showed it. But I instead decided to latch on to the good in you like a leach. I drained you of your energy. Your messages became shorter. Your excitement dwindled. I couldn't stop getting in between you and your life. I would love to see you grow. See where your life takes you. I would love to talk to you. Would love to be happy with you, with you being happy. I would love to meet you someday. Maybe if we were interacting in person things would be better. I don't know if you'd ever be ready to fix things between us. I'm ready to. I can't right now since you'll be a distraction from a mess I'm working on, but I'm ready to at heart. I know you'll never read this either, but I have to say it somewhere. I can't bother you in wherever you are in life.
Someday, perhaps, if we're lucky, we will be far passed all this drama. We will laugh at the turmoil that once existed between us. Though maybe not literally, we'll walk hand in hand at the beach together. We'll watch the ocean. We will camp out in the woods together, comfortable in the presence of one another. We may never be lovers, but the bond we have shared had scarred my heart. I do not know how to make my heart work right anymore, not even for you. I'll love that day to come where things are safe again, and we survived this and grew stronger as individuals. You are better than you'd ever believe, and had I done this right I might have helped you hone those qualities that I know are just beneath the surface. You allowed me to see them, and likely didn't even realize what you were showing me as you did. You are kind, brave, strong, and determined. If you never find what you so desperately are waiting for, if you never are lucky enough to achieve it, please know you helped me so much and you are beautiful. You are an amazing person. I cherished the time we had, and I want more than anything for you to be happy. If you can't find it, I'm sorry for you. Please do not allow it to make you bitter. You are wonderful. I don't know how to ever convince you it, but you are. Everything you needed was always inside you. There is a lot of things you don't need within you as well, and I know they tear you up and stand in your way. Do not allow them to break you. Look to the better pieces. Just keep looking to the better pieces. It isn't what you are looking for, but it is what you'll have to hold onto forever. And the only person who can ever decide whether or not you have those parts to hold onto is yourself. Nobody else can ever take it from you. So hold on.