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Post by marlow on Dec 10, 2020 23:42:29 GMT
Hi everyone! I am new and this is the first time I open up about this issue. I would like to ask you whether sometimes you feel like constantly daydreaming has been with you so long that the most valuable thing you have in your life is daydreaming itself. There are days when I cannot get myself to accept that fantasizing is what stops me from living, not only because dreams are always more comfortable and seducing than reality, but also because I have delivered so much about me to my imagination that now it's hard to separate my made-up persona from my own perception of myself. It feels like some kind of toxic relationship, where you know your partner is ruining your sanity by giving you the things you crave for (but don't necessarily need) from times to times in order to make you forget all the bad things he/she made you go through: you are aware of all of this, still, you're so addicted to finding comfort in this high that you don't have the strenght to tell yourself you need to leave it all behind and search for more common but healthier and purer sources of joy, until you start  that happiness can only be found in that same old poisonous situation, because you're thirsty and it knows you so well it can almost define you. I would like to know your experiences! |
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Post by Sam on Dec 13, 2020 4:31:57 GMT
Welcome to the forum!
This is a super common experience among MDers. MD does function very similarly to addictions and is, in my opinion, a form of behavioral addiction. The sucky thing about addictions is that no matter how much harm you know it's causing you, you still crave that high you get from a particularly satisfying scene or daydreaming episode in general. You might only achieve that high every once in a while, but that occasional reward is enough to keep you coming back to your daydreams, no matter how much you might know it's harming your life.
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Post by hani on Jan 11, 2021 8:35:55 GMT
I am also a newcome. I have known about this disorder for almost a few hours. Of course, I knew it before, but I did not care much about it. My whole life has been disrupted. Honestly, my only reason for daydreaming is that I hate myself and my life ... right now . I do not know what to do to quit my addiction? This addiction is even harder than drug and cell phone addiction. Because you can take away your mobile phone or go to an addiction camp .... but .... If you are obsessed with fantasy .... you can not take anything away from you .. because fantasy is formed inside you ... can man escape from within himself (his own existence)? I'm really confused ... I do not know what to do? The worst thing that can happen is that you really suffer from a pain but even psychologists do not understand you !! I feel there is no other way but suicide
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Post by Magioni Cortello on Jan 12, 2021 23:48:46 GMT
It used to be out of control for me and most of the time I loved it. When life started to fall apart around me it reinforced upon itself and no matter how unhealthy or shameful I thought or knew it was I had absolutely no desire to stop. Now... It's gone. I don't know what happened other than life events, moving, work, etc. It almost seems as if it burnt itself out after a really powerful one at the beginning of 2020 pretty much exactly a year ago. It was right before all that covid mess hit. Right after I came here for the first time.
I hate it. Daydreaming was my most favorite thing in the world and while my life isn't devoid of satisfaction if I could have it back then maybe I would actually take an unruly and extremely potent personal bad habit that eats up entire weeks, sometimes months over it simply being watered down.
Then again, I always try to avoid going back to media that surrounds my obsessions when I'm not feeling it because often times when I can't get lost in it, it seems like a miserable and empty experience. In that case, I always find myself attempting to force it before giving up.
I never wanted it to just go away. I wish I could simply control it but would much rather have it take everything over than be on my own. Granted, if those were my only two options.
I still daydream but not like before. Now it seems mediocre. Maybe that's how it always objectively was.
Or maybe now I finally have the opportunity to control it and simply need to engage...
Sorry for all the rambling. Can't believe it's been a year.
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Post by madamebovary on Jan 14, 2021 11:57:15 GMT
I am also a newcome. I have known about this disorder for almost a few hours. Of course, I knew it before, but I did not care much about it. My whole life has been disrupted. Honestly, my only reason for daydreaming is that I hate myself and my life ... right now . I do not know what to do to quit my addiction? This addiction is even harder than drug and cell phone addiction. Because you can take away your mobile phone or go to an addiction camp .... but .... If you are obsessed with fantasy .... you can not take anything away from you .. because fantasy is formed inside you ... can man escape from within himself (his own existence)? I'm really confused ... I do not know what to do? The worst thing that can happen is that you really suffer from a pain but even psychologists do not understand you !! I feel there is no other way but suicide
I am not sure if you are philosophizing over suicide as the only way to escape the thoughts that we are addicted to, or if you are seriously contemplating ending your life. But I have had the same thoughts, as I am sure many others on here have. What is it worth living if all my time is spend in my head, not in any form of life outside my fantasy? I think the problem, though, is not the thoughts themselves, but the life in the real world. If there is nothing to return to when we stop daydreaming, it seems like the only good thing for us in life is our fantasy. Unfortunaly, I find that anything in my real life that could be good and make me happy pales in comparison to my extreme daydreams. In comparison, life is boring, nothing much happens in conversations, I am not funny, not that clever, definetley not as pretty as I wish, I can't remember anything and people probably don't like me. The only antidote is the daydreaming, but the daydreaming is not the actual problem, even though it reinforces the problem. The problem is that I hate myself and am bored with my life. So if I want to get my motivation and inspiration from real life, I need to put energy and thoughts into real life. But cutting down on daydreaming and learning to accept myself as "bad" as I am will take a long time, and then it is often easier to escape into daydreams. I don't know if you relate, but what I am trying to say is that if you are contemplating suicide, you must be depressed, and maladaptive daydreaming or not, there is help for that, and psychologists understand that. Moreover, most people have these thoughts now and then, even the friends in my life who I thought were the most emotionally stable have told me they sometimes think about if they should keep living. I am seeing a psychologist at the moment, since I was not happy at all (and am still not, really), and have told her about my maladaptive daydreaming. She had not heard about it before, and no, she doesn't understand, but it still helps me to talk to her, and I am trying to follow her advice. I would recommend that.
I have never had any other addiction, but I agree it seems like an uphill battle to stop daydreaming when it is impossible to stop thinking. But if we work through this, even though change will probably be very gradual, we will fall back many times, and it will not feel like a battle won but like daily self discipline and countless failures, until maybe one day we can look back and realise that we have actually changed, if we can do that, there is nothing we cannot do. I think the self reflection, presence in life and "control" of our minds won by that will make us appreciate the world and make us very interesting people, even to ourselves :)
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nikawska
New Daydreamer
Fifth day of actively trying not to indulge in excessive daydreaming! (April 8)
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Post by nikawska on Apr 5, 2021 14:22:58 GMT
In comparison, life is boring, nothing much happens in conversations, I am not funny, not that clever, definetley not as pretty as I wish, I can't remember anything and people probably don't like me. The only antidote is the daydreaming, but the daydreaming is not the actual problem, even though it reinforces the problem. The problem is that I hate myself and am bored with my life. So if I want to get my motivation and inspiration from real life, I need to put energy and thoughts into real life. But cutting down on daydreaming and learning to accept myself as "bad" as I am will take a long time, and then it is often easier to escape into daydreams. I really relate to that, thank you for sharing! That is also the exact reason why I wanted to stop daydreaming. Sure, it is fun and all, but I eventually realized that (for me at least) it prevented me from accepting my flaws and being self-confident. If I don't try to quit daydreaming, maybe I will just stay the socially-awkward person that I am, not knowing who I really am and what I want to achieve in life... I understand the temptation as I am experiencing it myself but honestly, I don't want to waste my life living in a dream world and feeling miserable when I have to interact with someone in real life. |
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that happiness can only be found in that same old poisonous situation, because you're thirsty and it knows you so well it can almost define you. I would like to know your experiences! 
