Upset over characters real lives!

alvi
Administrator

Senior Daydeamer

Upset over characters real lives! Dec 12, 2020 17:49:36 GMT

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Post by alvi on Dec 12, 2020 17:49:36 GMT

I've read posts on this before but I think I just needed somewhere to put this out as I've given myself a panic attack googling one of my main characters and seeing all his achievements and real family etc and I can only think that people with MD would understand how it feels to be upset over a person you will never meet and a life that you think about constantly but will never have. I actually feel pretty pathetic typing this as these intense negative emotions have happened many times before over finding out facts or seeing articles relating the my celebrity that don't match what I've been daydreaming about.

I rarely use to have celebrity daydreams, but over the years they have become more common than the old original characters I have created myself. Part of me thinks that its because my daydreams have become more realistic in content and I know enough about these real people to imagine myself in their lives. The person from my daydream doesn't have much on his wiki and as I don't have instagram I've never checked it but today after wasting the whole day in bed daydreaming I looked at it and just felt so ill and upset. This has happened before and it ruined my favorite actor and all of his content, I literally cannot watch any of his films now. This person is a musician and has been in one of my favorite bands for many years but I've only in the last 6 months had him as my main daydream and I'm actually worried that a band I listen to daily might now be ruined because of daydreaming.

Does anyone else get really upset, panicky and disappointed when they have that moment of intense realization that none of the things that they have been imaging are ever going to happen? I've not just wasted the day away with my daydreaming but years and and years and honestly I'm so unhappy that this is my life and even after so many years I haven't been able to make any changes or even slight improvements. I'm feeling very trapped and hopeless about how my life has turned out.

Sam
Administrator

Elite Daydreamer

Upset over characters real lives! Dec 13, 2020 4:39:37 GMT Herro, anaxxana, and 1 more like this

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Post by Sam on Dec 13, 2020 4:39:37 GMT

I feel this occasionally. But I came to the conclusion a while ago that (with a few exceptions, since not all of my characters have the same characteristics/storyline) who I am in my daydreams isn't who I am in real life and it's not who I want to be either. My daydreams are mostly just an outlet for when I'm feeling powerless/not in control, not genuine wishes about what I want my life to be.

What you're feeling is totally understandable. It's incredibly common among MDers, as well as pretty much anyone who has some form of moderate to severe mental illness. Is there any way you can harness what you're feeling to channel it into making changes that would improve things for you?

Don't give up what you want most for what you want now.

yesitsmae
New Daydreamer

Upset over characters real lives! Dec 20, 2020 19:45:21 GMT via mobile

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Post by yesitsmae on Dec 20, 2020 19:45:21 GMT

Hi Alvi

Yes! My goodness I had that with the last person, and now with this person as well but not as intense.

I get the same thing you do, celebrities or famous people have become what I mostly daydream about, and it can be horrible when you read about their real lives, I feel for you.

It’s a terrible emotional rollercoaster and can be a great blessing but an awful affliction at the same time, but for me it usually fades away until the next time.

I’m Not Sure

if this happens with you, but do you get episodes where you’ll focus on a particular person or people and daydream about them for a while only to have it completely fade over time and you stop Thinking

about them?

If you do, me and a close loved one who knows all about it will come to realise that what you’re experiencing is merely a fantasy, and then when it fades you won’t feel the same way as you did before.

Also what really helped me is showing my close loved one things that I was upset or unsure about and getting their opinion of it, which believe can do the absolute world of good!

A fresh pair of eyes can do wonders!

Anyway stay strong, especially in difficult times like these.

I hope I helped in some way

Clare-Mae

yesitsmae
New Daydreamer

Upset over characters real lives! Dec 20, 2020 19:53:02 GMT via mobile Sam likes this

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Post by yesitsmae on Dec 20, 2020 19:53:02 GMT

Dec 13, 2020 4:39:37 GMT Sam said:

I feel this occasionally. But I came to the conclusion a while ago that (with a few exceptions, since not all of my characters have the same characteristics/storyline) who I am in my daydreams isn't who I am in real life and it's not who I want to be either. My daydreams are mostly just an outlet for when I'm feeling powerless/not in control, not genuine wishes about what I want my life to be.

What you're feeling is totally understandable. It's incredibly common among MDers, as well as pretty much anyone who has some form of moderate to severe mental illness. Is there any way you can harness what you're feeling to channel it into making changes that would improve things for you?

Hi Sam

I just wanted to say that what you’ve said almost perfectly describes the way I feel and what I get in my daydreams too.

The characteristics portrayed in the daydreams are usually someone I could never be or wouldn’t want to be in real life.

For example, I could be a loud, overbearing and say what I think kind of person to in my daydreams to anyone who comes across me in the daydream; whereas in reality, that’s not who I am and I would never want to be that way.

But I guess that in daydreams, you can take on alternative characteristics because you know deep down that it’s not real and that what you’re daydreaming about isn’t hurting anyone. It’s simply a fantasy.

But it feels sooo real when it’s happening that I think people can forget that it’s just a daydream, but personally the more I realise that that’s exactly what it is, it’s makes things a little better.

Take Care 🙂

katey
New Daydreamer

Upset over characters real lives! Dec 23, 2020 19:19:28 GMT via mobile alvi likes this

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Post by katey on Dec 23, 2020 19:19:28 GMT

Hey alvi,

same goes for me in regard to places and activities, that I put in my daydreams. When I see/do them in real life, there's a huge disappointment and helplessness. When it comes to people in MD, I try to think that the characteristics I give them are actually part of myself (not in terms of abilities, but in terms of ideals, values, potential life choices), so it's not like all of it is made up. This is just a tiny bit of consolation, but for me it helps. If you think about how you can fight MD by growing towards your imaginative selves, maybe these made up parts about real people can at least give some useful insights ...

In any case, I hope you will be okay soon!

Last Edit: Dec 26, 2020 7:12:42 GMT by katey

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Upset over characters real lives!

Post by alvi on Dec 12, 2020 17:49:36 GMT

Post by Sam on Dec 13, 2020 4:39:37 GMT

Post by yesitsmae on Dec 20, 2020 19:45:21 GMT

Post by yesitsmae on Dec 20, 2020 19:53:02 GMT

Post by katey on Dec 23, 2020 19:19:28 GMT