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Post by trente on Dec 21, 2020 15:57:28 GMT
Hi i got probably majorty of my time daydreaming about dramtic things like i made an accident,or one of my family members died even when i love them etc... i don't know why im enjoying those things of bieng hurt,maybe it's relate to selflove i don't know exacly. Am just wondering if anyone else have the same case
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Post by Theaxe on Dec 22, 2020 4:18:42 GMT
It's interesting that this has been brought up. Just in the last few days, I have been daydreaming about my recent (and who will likely be my new long term love-interest) cheating on me, and is now begging me to take him back. I'm not daydreaming of the actual cheating, just the sorrow and pleading of him wanting my love back. It's left me in tears at night when I go to bed and start thinking of it. I have to be incredibly careful about when I am getting into this daydream as it is easy for me to get overwhelmed by it. I'm actually feeling what would likely be an actual scenario of a cheating lover trying desperately to make things up to me.
It's terrible on so many levels. First, dealing with the infidelity, and then being left with this heartbroken man begging me not to leave him. It's unbelievably sad, and logic says "just daydream something else!!!" but I can't rip myself away from this one.
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Post by trente on Dec 22, 2020 19:52:13 GMT
Your situation is simlliar to mine. There's a girl in my class who i adore so much from pretty long period but i have noticed that my daydreams about being happy with her turn off to others scenerio like we end up becuase of me cheating on her even tho she's a good partner and she cares for me. like you said i wanna taste that feeling and live on that scenerio off being in pain and it's so reidiclous how at make me feel good and give me some boost of energy
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Post by Theaxe on Dec 22, 2020 20:05:14 GMT
Hi Trente, interesting - I'm the other way around. In the daydream, I'm the one being cheated on. But in the end, I am getting off on the feeling of having him scramble to get me back, professing his love, and making all these romantic attempts to win me over. Watching him desperate and so in love with me is the saddest thing, yet it allows me to control how deep he will go to prove how much he wants to make it up to me.
In recent daydreams, he's even offered to allow me to "get even" (go sleep with another man), because he loves me enough that if it means that will fix things, he will do whatever it takes. I mean, it's entirely messed up and ridiculous, but hey, no one said our daydreams had to make sense.
Still pretty emotional though. The other night I was MDing, crying while lying in bed, and my husband came in and was like, "What's wrong?" I had just been listening to music to daydream to while it was going on, so I just said, "I was just listening to this song. It was so sad, and it just got into my heart." He just said, "Oh yeah, okay," thinking that my sensitivity was to be the reason for it, and didn't think anything more about it.
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Post by trente on Dec 23, 2020 13:44:28 GMT
What a coincidence like the two stories complete each other,on my daydream im trying a to win her trust again by singing a song to her or drawing a picture of her then i found out that my best friend trying to approach her which make me feel jealous from him and it ruined our friendship,we stop talking to each other because we have these fight of who is better than the other one and about the girl in other way she is confused standing on the middle of the issue without making a clear choice so the story can going and the 3 of us we still suffring. Anyway i always found a sceneiario that make me feel hurten and being rejeted from her.
The hard part that we can't told anyone about our Md because the fear of being judge . its not popular as other mentel Health problems between pepole
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Post by Theaxe on Dec 23, 2020 16:44:03 GMT
Okay here's mine... talk about parallels!
My MD crush is a real life musician.. so right there, of course in my daydream I created him as being a musician, only instead of him being bigtime and famous, he is more of a bar-act. In the daydream I am his wife and manage his business.
I find out that years ago at his best friend's bachelor party, he cheated on me. In fact, many of the guys at the party were also cheating on their girlfriends and wives too, except a lot of them have long since broken up -- including the groom-to-be (his best friend) whose marriage ended only a few years later. But my "husband" carried on keeping the secret from me, and his best friend covered for him all along.
This crushes our marriage because we were the "every" couple. Everyone thought we were just magical together. We were suitable together in looks, personality, lifestyle, and we barely had disagreements. Oh yes, and don't forget the sex.. we had a wonderful sex life.
When I find out about the cheating, it's about ten years later, and I'm learning that his best friend's bachelor party was the epicenter of the trouble, and his best friend was also the one who kept quiet for him. I was very hurt by him too because over the years, he also had been my friend, and he often would tell my "husband" that "I wish I could find a woman like yours", or make jokes, "If he wasn't married to you, I'd snap you up!" -- but all in fun.
So the emotions from finding out about the cheating to how he is trying to win me back are extremely powerful. First, being a musician, he is writing songs for me, performing songs at the bar and dedicating them to me, admitting to the audience that I'm the love of his life and he's doing everything to get me back. The bar owner and the patrons are all feeling bad for us.
This carries on for months. "We" still live together as we are trying to figure out how to separate amicably without lawyers, but he is dragging his feet to try and delay the process, so we're still sharing the house and carry on with the work because it's all we know how to do for now. This is the reason he has many chances every single night to try and win me back.
Anyway, he ends up winning me back, but I just replay the whole daydream from the beginning a lot to dream more vividly or change things up slightly to keep it interesting.
As for the best friend, I end up forgiving him, realizing the mistake was ultimately my "husband's" and no one else's. That the friend made bad choices, but in the end, the marriage and his faithfulness was on him, not his best friend. He ended up being so relieved that I was willing to give him a second chance as a friend because at one point, my "husband" was willing to write him off completely as he blamed his involvement for ruining our marriage. He even offered to never speak to him again, but I said, "No, this was all on you, not him."
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