So I've been struggling with this thing for years now and never knew what it was, I always wanted to stick it to some other mental problems or just not aknowledge it but turns out this is real. I feel a little bit better now. Thank you. (sorry my English might be bad) I'm 18 and I've been daydreaming for as long as I can remember... When I was little I was always playing in my head... Then I had my first MP3 player and it became my escape.Music remained my main trigger ever since, but basically anything can cause it. I've been through more than 10 years of bullying (yes, kindergarden too), been misdiagnosed with a serious illness, then hospitalized several times (almost died at 8 because of it, it was traumatising), lost loved family members, oh and I didn't realise I was gay till a couple months ago... so I had some things to run away from. I developed depression, I have anxiety too, and I'm struggling with depersonalization/derealisation (DPDR) symptoms. I'm kinda thankful for my daydreams, because without them I don't think I would be able to be here now. (I thought about suicide... in the past, and sometimes I still do.) I'm studying art and next year I will study it at a university (if everything goes as planned) But I'm worried that I can never be present. I wake up and the first thing that comes to my mind is a daydream. It's hard to stop it and sometimes I don't even realize it. Some days I can't do anything alse. It's there all day. Every minute. No matter what I do, I just carry conversations in my head, I create plots. Mostly about myself. I start to think it's somehow a narcissistic behaviour for me. It makes me feel better about myself, and I'm pretty sure I boosted up my self confidence with it. It was a good escape/coping mechanism , but now I would like to stop. Sometimes they help tho, because I can vividly imagine a problem while I'm doing an art project or something, and by the time I'm able to start it in real life I basically solved all the possible problems. I often find cool new ideas while I'm in my little worlds, too. It's like a cool superpower. And as I was reading the threads on this page I was about how many books could be written with the plots of these daydreams... I don't know, maybe that could be helpful for some of you... Writing it down. . I can't write about MD all negatively bc it's been a part of my life from the beginning, and I think I don't want to see it as a beast, bc you can more easily tame a big scratchy cat than a lion. (but of course I know it can't be minimized, it's a serious thing) . . I'm so grateful for this community. I truly believe this is a big help for people like me.
Welcome to the forum! You will find that just acknowledging what you're doing is actually the first step in controlling it - now that you know what it is. I hope you read as much information as you can to understand what MD is so that it becomes more of something that you know others deal with too, and that it's not so scary, knowing you're not alone.