Post by velvetvenom on Jan 22, 2021 18:18:26 GMT
Hey 
I'm new here and new to the whole scene of knowing about MD. Never had I fathomed something so harmless would end me up in a weird state like this at 20years of age, where my mind is more eventful than my actual life. It's good to be here and hear from similar people.
I wrote a blog once, now lost and forgetten, with the same title 'Mayfly Lover' which conceptualizes my entire experience of MD. It was a longish monologue where I narrate how lovers stick like mayflies in my head. I obsess over them for a while and move to the next, lest I end up acting out on these emotions in real life.
I haven't gone through the entirety of the forum of course, but I haven't seen as many daydreams about romance as I thought I would. It's rather too dark. Since childhood, I'm sure I have daydreamed, mostly about romance, friendships and happy events in the future.
My earliest memory of daydreaming by choice as a defence mechanism/comforter was when I used to be afraid of the dark and didn't want to wake anyone up. I'd imagine about my friend being next to me and she'd calm me down. I'd chat with her in my head till I fell asleep.
My family was barely around and I've always been a quiet kid. I can't self diagnose but I know I've felt terribly empty, lonely and self-deprecating during school years. I'm very introverted and have a hard time settling with people. I'd daydream about being likeable and visualize my best version, doing her best, living her best. Along with this, it's mostly about people in my life and how I'd react to interactions.
Since past 2-3 years, this daydreaming has been more obsessive, averaging 2-5hrs on peak days. I've noticed I do this more often when I'm not in a relationship. When I am having satisfying, healthy relations with people, I tend to daydream lesser. It's usually with crushes, random people who spark interesting scenarios and subjects that have me fast forwarding my career and visualizing a successful life.
To not act out or prevent excessive daydreaming, I tend to make events more painful and victimize myself so I end up viewing people in bad light and detach myself from feeling this way in real life.
So far, I've daydreamed myself into liking a girl in school, crushing after a guy recently and planning my post-grad choice of diploma for next year 😂
I wonder if MDing is also related to feelings of loneliness, abandonment,inferiority complex and introversion?
I'm new here and new to the whole scene of knowing about MD. Never had I fathomed something so harmless would end me up in a weird state like this at 20years of age, where my mind is more eventful than my actual life. It's good to be here and hear from similar people. I wrote a blog once, now lost and forgetten, with the same title 'Mayfly Lover' which conceptualizes my entire experience of MD. It was a longish monologue where I narrate how lovers stick like mayflies in my head. I obsess over them for a while and move to the next, lest I end up acting out on these emotions in real life.
I haven't gone through the entirety of the forum of course, but I haven't seen as many daydreams about romance as I thought I would. It's rather too dark. Since childhood, I'm sure I have daydreamed, mostly about romance, friendships and happy events in the future.
My earliest memory of daydreaming by choice as a defence mechanism/comforter was when I used to be afraid of the dark and didn't want to wake anyone up. I'd imagine about my friend being next to me and she'd calm me down. I'd chat with her in my head till I fell asleep.
My family was barely around and I've always been a quiet kid. I can't self diagnose but I know I've felt terribly empty, lonely and self-deprecating during school years. I'm very introverted and have a hard time settling with people. I'd daydream about being likeable and visualize my best version, doing her best, living her best. Along with this, it's mostly about people in my life and how I'd react to interactions.
Since past 2-3 years, this daydreaming has been more obsessive, averaging 2-5hrs on peak days. I've noticed I do this more often when I'm not in a relationship. When I am having satisfying, healthy relations with people, I tend to daydream lesser. It's usually with crushes, random people who spark interesting scenarios and subjects that have me fast forwarding my career and visualizing a successful life.
To not act out or prevent excessive daydreaming, I tend to make events more painful and victimize myself so I end up viewing people in bad light and detach myself from feeling this way in real life.
So far, I've daydreamed myself into liking a girl in school, crushing after a guy recently and planning my post-grad choice of diploma for next year 😂
I wonder if MDing is also related to feelings of loneliness, abandonment,inferiority complex and introversion?
