Post by teddymarie on Feb 4, 2021 16:07:16 GMT
I was doing some research and it led me here, so I thought I might as well share a bit. I've had problems with daydreaming for as long as I can remember. When I was a kid I used it as a coping mechanism for trauma, but it wasn't healthy. It ended up causing multiple panic attacks a day and preventing me from sleeping. I ended up hating myself and would often dream of dying, hurting myself, or having some lethal illness. I would always see things so vividly in my head that they seemed completely real to me and had a lot of trouble discerning my dreams from reality. It was awful, I would see people, faces, and scenes in my mind and it would create such strong anxiety that a paralysis would come over me, I would go limp, fix my eyes on a certain point, and just lay there, shaking and crying and trying to breathe. My mind always controlled me as a child and I'm not completely sure but I think I was probably a schizophrenic. As I grew up and became a pre-teen, my situation got a lot better and as a result one night I had a breakthrough. In my house there is a staircase and hallway that leads to my attic, I was always deathly scared of this place because I would always see dragons and other creatures in the shadows. I'm a strong Christian and my mom had told me the verse 2 Timothy 1:7 "For God has not given you a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind." So, gathering my courage, I walked up the stairs slowly chanting it to myself, I used it to block out anything else that would come into my mind. And for the first time I went up and down the stairs without having any anxiety or seeing anything whatsoever. After that I started using that tactic for everything, every time my mind tried to play tricks on me I would just fill my mind with that verse and when I did I could control myself. Now I'm fifteen years old and I'm glad to say that I'm almost completely recovered! But I still have trouble with my dreams, I get lost in a daydream more times a day than I can count even though I know they're not reality, and I'm trying to learn to control it. It always keeps me from getting things done and sometimes I'll wake back up to reality and realize that I've been walking in circles around my house, I also make hand motions and facial expressions. Though it isn't bad compared to what I've experienced before, it still hinders me in many ways so I thought I'd try to find somewhere I could share, I've never told anyone this story and even if no one sees or reads it, it felt really nice to finally open up ab it.Thank you to anyone reading!
-Marie
