Before I start, please anyone who sees this please reply. I feel like I'm talking to myself on here...
You know, sometimes, when this MD gets way out of hand, I really beat myself up about it. I'm 17, my characters are in their mid 20's. They have children, but I refuse to make them age, or I refuse to daydream back in time. I just keep them the same. I don't like this because I worry about how I will cope with my thoughts in the future...
In reality, when you age, so does everyone and everything else. I'm scared that I will grow up and still be stuck with the same problem. That I'll still be daydreaming with the same characters, having them do the same things again and again. What I'm trying to say is; what if I grow up and get married, for instance, I should not be dreaming of a couple who are still in their mid 20's. I shouldn't be dreaming of a couple at all.
My thoughts are scattered all over the place, I probably sound so crazy but please keep reading.
Does anyone else feel as if they cannot mention the names of their characters to themselves, even in their head? I refer to my 2 main people as him and her, he and she. But when I'm actively doing the daydreaming, the characters are allowed to say each others names?
And lastly, I project every single thought and feeling onto my characters. I could see a model on an advertisement wearing a dress, and straightaway I imagine her in the same dress, because she looks beautiful.
Or, I'll see a movie scene which I'm really into eg. a fight between a couple. And what d'y know, I make my characters re enact the same scene. When they argue and get upset, I get upset. When they're happy and laughing, I laugh and smile with them.
How long will this be accetable? Because as much as I wish I spent less time in my head, I hate the thought of not seeing them in my head everyday.
very new to this forum and i get what you mean. my core characters in my favourite MDs were all 16 from when i was about 10. they were always that age and it always made sense to me and i couldn’t conceive them being any younger or older. i was feeling weird about turning 17 and being older than my characters, and i got really in my head about it. for about a year or so nothing changed and it felt a little strange sometimes when i connected it to my lived experience of being 16 but not too weird. but when i turned 18 i found what i thought impossible started to happen. my daydreams began to change and i started spending hours on scenarios where they were 18 instead, and how they’d changed over those 2 years and it was sooo captivating to explore how they’d changed and i loved it. i’m coming up on 20 now so i’m wondering if they’ll have another natural shift. if so i’m to see what scenarios i get lost in with them! i understand not everyone has the same experience but from my experience my characters changed as i did. they weren’t the fixed concepts i thought they were, they started to grow as i did! it sounds cliche but just try to relax and go with it )
Well tosakio03 I pretty much have the same problem and its crazy man, I daydream in my 20's . Similar to yours I also have characters well mine doesnt have kids yet it used to but not anymore because I change Characters every now and then depending on a situation I am or what I recently get attracted to, Most of the time lately i was this character who was a Mafia just a person who make money but not the legal way . The thing that scares is that am getting deeper into this because whenever I am angry I see my self as a cold blooded killer man doing all sorts of bad to people who would betray me and in reality I dont see my self doing it i hate violence . Well recently my character was living somewhere in a plot isolate and as much as i hate the daydreaming thing I enjoy it as my comfort place of fantasy but now it has to come to an end i dont want to find my self living with for the rest Of my life and i stopped watching movies for a while because if there was a scene that i liked i would not waste anytime to place my character into it as much this is daydreaming i feel the similar emotions that i emitate from the movie or series, Well its been 3 days into this support group and I feel like am making progress because am meeting a lot of people who are in the same situation as me .I HOPE WE ALL GET THE HELP WE NEED !!!!!!!!!!.
mmatau I'm glad we're in this together. I totally understand how you switch up characters. In my case, I never switch characters; I might add a few new ones but my main characters I have dreamt with since years stay. Sometimes, and much recently nowadays to be honest I have left the kids out of the dream. Because sometimes what I want to dream about doesn't include them so it just feels weird to have them actively in the dream, but I can always feel them in the background, almost like shadows or ghosts? I hope this makes sense.
As for your fantasies, again you're not alone. I'm a psychology student and the thing that sticks with me the most is Freud's development of the mind. So actually, how you mention you daydream about things you would never imagine doing, that is just what your super ego says about you. Actually, we all have an 'id'. In this id are unacceptable thoughts that we refuse to bring up to our conscious mind, and so it stays deep down (think of it like an iceberg; the most important part to an iceberg is what you can't see, under the water). I hope this helps you understand your motives in your daydreams so that you aren't too scared of them. It's what keeps me at bay!
hi I think you shouldn’t worry about that. I understand why but I had the same problem and it solved itself. One day they just aged. I don’t know why it was a normal day but they aged. But I don’t know my daydreams are more about the reality so I change the reality like I want it to be. I guess one day your characters’ll change too so don’t worry
I totally relate to you. My MD characters have been in their 20s and 30s since I was a kid. I think I always wanted to be older and that reflected in my MD.
I feel like I can only think or feel through MD. Whenever I see a couple thing anywhere I immediately start imagining my MD couple w it and if I'm angry I'll immediately start pacing around my room and MD. Any emotion is felt through MD for me. I think maybe that's my core issue. I've never been good at recognizing and expressing feelings so I use MD as an outlet. I have started, if and when I snap back from md, to take a deep breath and directly address the exact emotion I'm feeling at the moment. Eventually it has helped me snap back sooner.
Bluejay that's amazing that you've managed to figure out a way of stopping it when you want to. I totally agree with you and think it's mostly about learning to change your mindset. Right now I'm not doing that, maybe I should consider to adress the emotion too. Thanks for replying!