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Post by fellowmder on Mar 18, 2021 13:38:34 GMT
So I wanted to talk to someone about myself for a week now. Since last week I started drifting off into my daydreaming world. I do regret going there. It is making me disinterested in my life. I cannot sit at my desk and do anything. I am getting annoyed of myself, everything that I am doing is to just runaway from my problems. I am losing my confidence at work and I just continuously berate myself day in and day out. Everytime I schedule my work I cannot complete it and it drives me so crazy that I don't want to attend my class the next day. Now, it's like even if I motivate myself to work, somewhere the thought that I will be doing it till the very last minute and still not do it and just feel embarrassed because of it- I feel there is no hope for me because it ends the same way all the time. I want to be positive and get myself back before it is too late but I just don't know how to.
When I am working, I feel so lonely that I want something going on in the background- not music but just anything on YouTube. I know it sounds weird but since last two months I have been working like this. And this doesn't really help in concentrating on work and makes me not do it. If I don't, as I said, I feel more weird and lonely. In class, I am forced to live in the present and that just works the best but I don't have class every single day either.
I want to cry out and just drop this semester but I know that shouldn't happen again. I cannot give up again. I bunked my class today because i didn't complete my work and just daydreamt for two days straight. I don't want to talk to my mom because she is again worried of what I am doing. I am relying on her emotionally more and more but I don't want to.
Now, because of a few pandemic situations, I will have to shift to my lonesome pg. This gets me even more anxious, I can just visualise myself not going to class, not working at all and just failing my semester again. I don't want to repeat this but I can't see past it. I know I can work around this if I discipline myself more I can get through this but I don't know where to start making changes- my youtube watching habits, my giving up on smallest of the problems, daydreaming, relying on food for comfort or just getting my work done.
Ok, thanks for reading this and if you were also in a bind like that, how did you get through this? Any suggestions?
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Post by Bluejay on Mar 19, 2021 20:08:35 GMT
Hi, what you have described here is pretty much my whole entire life. I'm still in this situation and it sucks. I feel like I can do so much more but I really can't help MD my time away. Even using yt is something I relate to. For me cutting out yt (or something else) has only led to some other distraction taking its place so I would say restrict its use. Try to keep a check on how much time you spend on it and cut it down one day at a time. I know right now it seems like a lot of work is to be done. It might even seem like a drag but you can do it just focus on a small task and then the next. Break it all down and only take one step at a time. If you don't feel like working just put your mind at it for a while only and you'll feel more motivated to continue. Do take breaks and MD in them because if you are like me you probably need to.
I'm open to talk if you feel like you need someone to talk to.
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Post by tosaki03 on Mar 28, 2021 17:56:43 GMT
fellowmder I have no advice for you, but I can say you're not alone. I have the exact same problem currently. I can;t concentrate on college or my work. I want to be able to be successful in the future but I can't bring myself to continue working. It's really stressful, I understand. I think MD is so misleading because it can make you feel comfort and peace in your mind but in reality it has a lot of negative impacts on our daily lives. As Bluejay said, I'm also here and I hope you understand that you're not the only one who has to go through this x
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Post by fellowmder on Mar 31, 2021 15:56:09 GMT
Bluejay and tosakio3 thanks for supporting and writing your thoughts down. Sometimes i do want to just converse with people on the forum because some people can relate with me and my habits here. Then again i really don't know what to post because everything i do is pretty much similar to this post and the posts in the past and thus there is nothing to talk about or take suggestions for. all posts i wrote in the past were about this same problem- addicted to yt, food and daydreams.
Since this post I haven't really done any constructive work and bunked all my classes in a row. It wasn't that i daydreamt during this time but rather just sat in front of my screen doing nothing. i would lock my door- watch something or daydream or sleep off. this makes me question whether i really daydream or am i simply addicted. lazy and a procrastinator. these days whenever i thought about work, i only thought how i should run away from it, not do it or just leave it for the next day. this work is so important for me but i have no courage of facing it and my faculties because there is seemingly no excuse for what i am doing. leaving so lazily and then fearing about things at the last minute is just so common and repetitive of me. but the fact that i don't take any action towards it is so much more irresponsible of me. it makes me constantly wonder whether i really am a daydreamer or putting it up as an excuse to my daydreams. i am kind of clueless of myself right now.
NOTE i just wrote this- don't know if i should write it here or not. i know i ain't asking for any suggestion or help here, it is just me making myself realize the grave situation i am into.
Thanks for reading !!
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Post by tosaki03 on Mar 31, 2021 18:31:11 GMT
fellowmder Try not to worry too much! You're really not alone in feeling this way I'm in the exact same situation. I have my easter holidays right now. I have exams after these holidays for the end of the year and I'm really so worried about them because I know I'm not studying as much as I can right now. I've just felt so overwhelmed with life, my physical and mental health right now that I'm exhausted. I'm also addicted to yt; its my safe place besides daydreaming where I get to enjoy myself. There are constantly arguments in my house, so I don't feel like speaking to anyone. I stay up in my room for ages just to be alone. But that means I'm always alone with my thoughts. Most of the time it's not a good thing because I fail to concentrate on revision. But let me help you with that. I mean I don't know if this is going to work for you but when I need to study or revise I put on a video from this channel: www.youtube.com/channel/UCkPgEucgqedbckpzC2EUwIAMerve does study with me's. Her backgrounds are always so nice and because she times her work you feel compelled to work with her. It also helps me work faster. I suggest you give it a try. I know your work is important right now, so try to always remind yourself of what you want to be like when your older. For me, my characters are everything I am not (young, rich and famous ahah) I want have a successful and enjoyful life in the future, and I keep reminding myself that I won't have it unless I work for it. It's not supposed to be easy, my friend. It's okay to be lazy or procrastinate sometimes. Hell, I don't blame you I know how hard it can be sometimes, just life in general. But if you want to improve, change your mindset. Change the way you think. Instead of  your lazy and using daydreaming as an excuse, tell yourself that you're going through a challenging time right now, and your struggling with motivation, but YOU ARE GOING TO IMPROVE. And finally, when your trying to work, start this routine with baby steps. Don't set yourself a tonne of work that you know you're not going to get through. Think of it like this: Monday - I'm going to finish my personal statement, Tuesday I'll do my maths homework. Write them down in your notes or create a weekly planner, it helps me  . Do it like this at first and hopefully you'll build a new and efficient work ethic! I hope this helps you, it sure makes me feel good to know I can talk to someone or be of some use to someone in this world. We'll get through this together
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Post by fellowmder on Apr 3, 2021 14:26:55 GMT
thanks tosakio3. I started with these study with me and they work pretty well!! i can stretch upto 2-3 hrs atleast a day. I think it will help me a lot!!
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your lazy and using daydreaming as an excuse, tell yourself that you're going through a challenging time right now, and your struggling with motivation, but YOU ARE GOING TO IMPROVE. 
. Do it like this at first and hopefully you'll build a new and efficient work ethic!