I have been daydreaming for the past 45 years . My daydreaming is mostly having wealthy, a good athlete, having a beautiful wife , being handsome and physical fitness, being academically gifted etc . The triggers are mostly; jogging, music , faced with a difficult situation or watching someone doing well on something. I have characters that usually come during daydreaming episodes which include that that could have died . I spend most of my time doing this . I only stop daydreaming when I have a special assignment or an examination. I face problems in accepting real characters in my life including my wife and some relatives even children as am used to the ideal images generated in my mind during daydreaming. I easily forget and lacks concentration. I am finding it difficult to go out and socialise or to do business as I need more time on my own to daydream. Recently, I closed my business because I could not find time to attend to it as I daydream. These prolonged daydreaming sessions are resulting in headaches and I am now addicted to some painkiller drugs and some antidepressants like Amitriptyline which I receive on monthly. Am failing to stop this habit and it’s taking most of my productive time . How best can I stop this .
Hi there! I am also ,um, middle aged, (!) married with children, and for my first 20 years I much preferred my mental world and imaginary me to the real world and real me. There were many years (age 20 to 60) where I did not have this problem, but then it came back the last almost 2 years.
I recently started seeing a therapist to try to figure out the why behind it, and it has been very helpful. One article I read recently suggested looking for a therapist familiar with childhood trauma. I did not have any actual trauma, but I am a very sensitive person, and what I have learned from the therapy is that certain family dynamics I had affected me deeply and the way I chose to self soothe was MDD. Fast forward to age 60, again, family dynamics, even though not my husband /grown chlidren but the family I grew up in. I'm trying to rewire my brain to not escape things in life that are painful, but to let myself feel it, and to find healthier ways to cope. I journal like crazy, and it helps me figure out what I'm feeling.
The appeal of daydreaming has for me, been to have the things I don't have in real life..at least in my head, which I would tell myself, is almost as good as actually having them, but I'm learning that is not true. When I first started having trouble with MDD again, it was more appealing to imagine the perfect world rather than work on the one I lived in. Taking baby steps to improve my actual life has really made a difference. It did not happen overnight, and sometimes it is 3 steps forward, 2 back, but I can see progress. It is totally worth the effort to find the best way to live in your real life. The main thing for me has been to accept myself how God made me. I can't say I'm all the way there yet, but in my journaling i deliberately am writing about things I'm grateful for, things I "accomplish" (getting out of bed! laundry!) people who love me and what I love about them.