Post by joshie on Jul 14, 2021 18:05:44 GMT
I was actually pretty anxious right now... I mean I’m not the type of person who usually write posts on the internet or social media because I was always afraid of what other people might think of me and I’m always embarrassed of myself, like for example after I posted something on social media, I suddenly changed my mood after 5mins.and deleting that particular posts because I’m not the same person I was 5mins. ago... I mean, I really don’t have the gut to post and show to people what I really wanted to share. Some of my close friends are saying I have social anxiety , while some says I’m just an introverted person. I wanted to share this right now after
for a long time. I think I’m suffering from Maladaptive Daydreaming. I couldn’t share it to anyone because I was a kinda anxious and I struggle to explain it because I doubt that they would understand what I’m saying because one time I share it to someone and that person told me that it was just normal, that’s why I think it’s kinda normal too. However it really bothers me up until now, that’s why I arrived into sudden curiosity and
, ‘what does people normally thinks when they are bored, or alone?’ Because when I am bored I have such vivid dreams and imaginations that lasts for hours and then that dream continue for many days and it bothers me through night and day. When I am washing the dishes, doing household chores or whatever it was, I suddenly stare into space and daydream again and it’s really hard to stop and I felt nauseous and dizzy and my head really hurts after daydreaming, I don’t know if it’s really the side effects of excessive daydreaming but I was really serious that my head really hurts that I felt collapsing after
too much. I don’t know how to stop overthinking and daydreaming. After for a second or for a minutes that I’m doing nothing or just sitting, I didn’t notice that I was suddenly
about something again. Some of my classmates asks me if I am autistic because I stare too much at the space and is always aloof, and my sibling are worrying about me sometimes when they are talking to me because my mind was wandering somewhere again. One of my aunt told me that I need to consult a psychiatrist because she thinks that I’m suffering mentally, but after hearing these makes me anxious, ‘Am I really suffering mentally?’ After years of
, I decided that I want to consult to a psychiatrist, but unfortunately I don’t know any psychiatrist who consults for free and I don’t have any money to pay for the fees, so I just let it go again and
that it was fine, at least it is not severe yet. And I arrived here at this support groups because I wanted to make sure and to confirm that I am really suffering to Maladaptive daydreaming and not just romanticizing it, because after I searched the signs and symptoms of this, I just thought that maybe I have this since I have all the symptoms.
I started daydreaming since I was a child, and the truth is, it became my coping mechanism whenever I am anxious and felt lonely. I searched that the MD is linked to depression but I don’t want to just confirm with my own that I have depression without consulting to health professionals, since I don’t have much of the symptoms that is given on the internet. I only have negative thoughts like being pessimistic all the time due to my anxiety, and I also have suicidal thoughts and regretting being born from this world. I don’t know what links to that mindset and I also felt empty all the time that’s why I spent most of my time watching movies and series to forget everything and it truly became my coping mechanism too, however I noticed that It was really unhealthy to my physical, emotional, and social health. I really don’t know what to do to stop this. And I apologize for this long message... It was kind of embarrassing though since I don’t have the confident to post it... but anyways I am very happy and thankful for whoever read this. I know it is very long message but I’m grateful that you’re reading my experiences. However I didn’t indicate every details or some circumstances, since I am still anxious and have no confidence to post it, but maybe next time if I’m comfortable. Thank you again.