Does MD Make You Feel Weird?

I daydream about reality, even if it's loosely connected to my life. I get very anxious if there's an occurrence that ruins my 'plot' or simply makes me realise how unachievable my dream goals are. And since I fantasise about living people, I often experience jealousy, the drives-me-crazy and i-wanna-cry kinds of one.

I also hate reading books or watching movies about characters younger than me because I get reminded that I still haven't found my place in life. Fantasy stories make me miserable too - our world is not enough and I'll never stop craving for more.

And then, of course, there are moments when I catch myself daydreaming and involuntarily think of how ridiculous I look and I hate myself even more.

I've experienced something similar. Personally it feels like I'm either being robbed of  up something that nobody else thought of before, or a sense of greed - "I thought of this before, how dare they!" Ironically, I find that the solution to these very egoist mindsets is to become even more ego centric. I don't know if this is the same feeling you have, but maybe this helps:

The modern world is very connected. Ideas flow very easily from head to head, and many of those create very deep subconscious roots within us, which naturally leads to a degree of homogenous creativity. When you get past this feeling of "my thing is your thing", it doesn't really matter, though. Nobody can read your mind, so aside from subconscious pushes (which are completely 100% inevitable, one way or another), the only one who should matter in your own internal world, is you.

Even after you read a book or watch a movie, what you have in your head is not the thing the author did, it is your own personal copy of it. It is yours, and you are free to change it however you wish, despite how the original idea may change in the author's head over time. If you daydream about something which gets extended or remade, see this as an opportunity to take in inspirations on how to change your version of it for the better (or don't change anything at all), rather than an ultimatum on how things MUST be.

Same goes for feeling embarrassed about what you dream about. It is your own internal world, and nobody else has anything to do with it. If you enjoy it, dream about it. Ultimately, you're alone in your head, and that isn't a bad thing.

If you're struggling with finding a job, getting your own place to live, etc. that's a goal you're pursuing, but remember that our experiences are all very unique. You never know what you may gain out of 100 years of sitting alone in a dark room. Someone who was met with a straight line to the finish will not have experienced and thought of the same things you did, and that's what I think you should remember. Society has this natural tendency to diminish mental labour and suffering, but it is no less of an experience than anything else.

In other words, don't think of yourself as being less than anyone else because they have things you don't, because the inequality itself inherently means you also have things they don't.