I want to be just as beautiful as the woman in my dreams.
Post by Terrial <3 on Oct 11, 2021 3:30:32 GMT
I dreamt today that I was being held in someone's arms. That they'd whisper sweet nothings, and trace cute little hearts along my shoulders, telling me things would be alright. Except it wasn't me, not really. She was so.. Pretty. With soft, blemish-less skin.
She had such a big smile. I can't help but wonder if I could ever smile as wide as that, but I know my smile could never be as beautiful.
But let's pretend that I'm as beautiful, as loved as I may dream myself to be. Just for now.
That was all they did, hold me. Nothing else, nothing else needed to happen. We would mumble against each for eternity's, our lips close- but never touching. I spent hours dreaming about this.. Whenever I would break back into reality, I did my very best to stay in a haze-- and resumed where I left off.
You know, when you experience loss-- people often say you move through the five stages of grief.
What they neglect to tell you, is that you cycle through them every day.
And the worst thing is-- the only person who I am able to mourn, is myself.
I'm only sixteen, and I think I lost myself with the person that holds me late at night, and reminds me that I'm beautiful.
I think what's scariest about that- is that I don't want to find myself again.