Post by chiibug on Dec 20, 2018 19:10:20 GMT
Hi, I'm a 36 year old wife and mother. I've escaped into my own worlds for as long as I can remember. My earliest memories involve fantasizing I was a character in Neverending Story, and helping Bastian save the day, and other similar stories. My stories used to be more inspired by fiction, and then I'd put my own spin on it, and insert myself into the story. In recent years, I find myself creating more and more original stories. I edit and rewrite them and once I have them perfect, I start all over from the beginning and relive every moment from beginning to end.
I read others use music to stimulate fantasy. I do this, too, and I'm very particular about the songs I use. They're typically slower, emotional songs. When I want to daydream, I don't listen to the radio because it's too random. I want the same 20 or so songs on repeat. I'm becoming entirely too dependent on music. In fact, I have a separate playlist that does the opposite. I listen to it when I have no choice but to focus on the task at hand. This is typically pop music, as it gives me just enough brain stimulation to satisfy my craving for music while not letting me slip into my world.
I want to say I hate that I do this, and I do. It interferes with relationships and work. But I also love doing it. I want to quit, but the thought of quitting brings me to tears. Sometimes removing myself from my dream worlds is almost painful. It's not that I'm unhappy with my life; I love my husband an daughter. I find my career stimulating. I volunteer at my church and child's school and cub scouts. But any free time is dedicated to my characters and their lives.
I also find I dislike reading and watching TV more and more. My own worlds are more satisfying than those.
I'm bipolar, and I have found I daydream more when I'm on a low cycle. I also had an abusive childhood, and my therapist thinks I may have developed this habit as a coping mechanism.
I read others use music to stimulate fantasy. I do this, too, and I'm very particular about the songs I use. They're typically slower, emotional songs. When I want to daydream, I don't listen to the radio because it's too random. I want the same 20 or so songs on repeat. I'm becoming entirely too dependent on music. In fact, I have a separate playlist that does the opposite. I listen to it when I have no choice but to focus on the task at hand. This is typically pop music, as it gives me just enough brain stimulation to satisfy my craving for music while not letting me slip into my world.
I want to say I hate that I do this, and I do. It interferes with relationships and work. But I also love doing it. I want to quit, but the thought of quitting brings me to tears. Sometimes removing myself from my dream worlds is almost painful. It's not that I'm unhappy with my life; I love my husband an daughter. I find my career stimulating. I volunteer at my church and child's school and cub scouts. But any free time is dedicated to my characters and their lives.
I also find I dislike reading and watching TV more and more. My own worlds are more satisfying than those.
I'm bipolar, and I have found I daydream more when I'm on a low cycle. I also had an abusive childhood, and my therapist thinks I may have developed this habit as a coping mechanism.
