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Post by talldarkandhandsome on Dec 29, 2018 7:19:14 GMT
Before I even begin describing the superhero visions I've been having, and how I would be a great film director etc. Let's talk about something that buggs me to me core; the Bane to my Batman, the Ultron to my iron Man ... The Dark, to my Light. I've been researching this Maladaptive Daydreaming for about a week now. In a way, I hate knowing that this, condition, exists. I hate it because now I'm afraid of subjecting my mind to Daydreams. I know there are some of you who feel as if you're suffering from it, but as I've said before. I've kinda managed to work it into my everyday lifestyle. I don't know how I feel about saying this, but I kinda like going into my dreams. There have been points in my life where my mind has been the happiest place I've ever been. And I can't really say there's been a moment where my dreams have taken me somewhere I don't want to be -- Intentionally. On the flip side, I don't mind putting a term to the symptoms, BECAUSE I've worked it into my everyday lifestyle. I mean like, I accepted that this is who I am a LONG time ago and when the mindset fits, I really enjoy watching my brain work it's magic. I don't feel like I'm subjecting myself to ANYTHING. Maladaptive Daydreaming created a friend for me when I was at my most lonely state of mind (I promise I'm not schizophrenic  , I might elaborate on that later). How am I supposed to hate something that kind of helped to get me so far in life? On paper, at least. I think that it's so cool that while people are  to themselves in the middle of class "That was such a good movie last night" I'm accross the room, reliving it. Moment for moment in my head. And NOT ONE PERSON can tell it's happening. In a way, it actually is like having a super power. Until certain thoughts come to mind. See, I believe that MD can affect your emotions. Manipulate them, in some cases. Here's a really dummbed down example: Like, someone could be happy, and me, case A with MD would be REALLY. Happy. It's unfortunate that the adverse happens too, like when someone is  , my heart's breaking. Earlier today, I asked someone if they would wanna catch up over coffee. It's the oldest line in the book, but it's okay cause they were just a coworker. I had taken the hint that they didn't wanna go when I was left with my message unopened for 8 hours. That was strike 1 But, then they respond: "Sorry, I don't have any money to go." That was strike 2, but Being the gentleman I am, I told her it's okay, I would pay for her, because you know, my coworker just so happens to be a girl. And I get left on Read. And I can't even start to tell you how many thoughts were going through my mind. Like your average Joe might've just shook it off and lost a couple of Charisma Points. Me? I was nearly crippled with sadness, like I had just lost the game. And I can only help but think how I would be feeling if I was the average Joe, would I feel this bad? If my emotions are nearly amplified x5 no matter what I feel, how am I supposed to subject my mind to Maladaptive Daydreaming? If you ask any psychologist, they'll say you have depression. And they'll explain how it works: Bassically, people have a really hard time coping with depression. Not fighting it, not overcoming it, coping with it. Because you can't fight depression. That's not the way our minds work. See, when we become , and hit rock bottom it's because there's something stimulating a part of our brain that we don't wanna forget. Let me rephrase, Something accidentally comes to your mind without you really of it. A part of Your brain realizes the thought is there, and tells the rest to come check it out. When they do so, another thought comes with it. Then that thought brings it's friend, and so forth Leaving your head the literal need to sort through each individual thought as if you're just seeing it for the first time. So you can't fight it, you just have to process everything till there's nothing left! ^^That process is most commonly known as a Depressive Episode. So take that, and give it to someone with MD, what happens? From what I've felt, it only intensifies your depressive state. Lucky for me, this has only happened a few times to me, but do you see why I'm scared? And the thing is, NO ONE KNOWS ITS HAPPENING, except for your own being. Like I can tell you what I'm feeling, but chances are you very well may not KNOW what I'm feeling. And that's scary. I mean, if I'm long enough, I could be driven suicidal, over something that the average Joe would think is miniscule. again, it's pretty awesome to be able to drift away if I'm THAT bored and it's cool about movie concepts, etc. The thing that bothers me, is that It's like Joe schmo can live his life on the continuum, while we, are left with no other option than to be on one side of the extreme, or the other. To be content, or to be destroyed. And no one can really know what you're going through. That's, what terrifies me. |
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Post by jack on Dec 29, 2018 15:11:37 GMT
I understand what you're saying that the daydreams make you happy. But that's because it's like a drug, as so many people on here say. It's an escape. It's this beautiful world where all your dreams can come true. But it's not real. And reality is going on and time is going by, and you are not in it. And I've thought about this a lot lately. If you think about it, everything is in your mind. If you really want to just live in your head, I suppose you could. But wouldn't you just feel bad about that? I would. But I suppose it depends on the person. I gave up music a few days ago, and alcohol. Unfortunately I relapsed into a few beers yesterday and when I drink I naturally want to listen to music. Fire up the music and music videos on YouTube and there you go, massive daydreaming. And it felt good, escaping into this fantasy world where I am living this amazing life. Trying to avoid triggers and just stopping this daydreaming is so hard. But I really want to. I want to live in reality, because reality is the only thing that matters. I was watching short videos on different western philosophers on YouTube (The School of Life channel - Cioran, Satre, Kierkegard, Nietzsche) and it was very interesting to hear about the philosophers and their thoughts, although also very depressing. They all came to the conclusion that life is meaningless. I thought afterwards that watching those videos really did not do any good for me, as I was trying to get away from those thoughts. It really is better to not think deeply about anything and go through life "lightly", as it seems thats the only way you can be happy on a daily basis. That's also in a way, but less . I'm sorry if this just rambling. |
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Post by Sam on Dec 29, 2018 18:15:52 GMT
I was watching short videos on different western philosophers on YouTube (The School of Life channel - Cioran, Satre, Kierkegard, Nietzsche) and it was very interesting to hear about the philosophers and their thoughts, although also very depressing. They all came to the conclusion that life is meaningless. I thought afterwards that watching those videos really did not do any good for me, as I was trying to get away from those thoughts. It really is better to not think deeply about anything and go through life "lightly", as it seems thats the only way you can be happy on a daily basis. That's also sad in a way, but less sad. I'm sorry if this just rambling. One of the fastest ways to make yourself feel like crap (or to give yourself an existential crisis) is to think of philosophical questions. However, while I understand that the "life is meaningless" idea is often one brought up by philosophers, I, personally, would amend it to this, "life has no meaning except what you give to it." True, the actions that we take may not affect the greater machinations of the universe. We may not be pieces in a giant universal puzzle. But that doesn't mean that life has no meaning at all. The good or the bad you do in life may not affect things on a universal scale, but it does affect you and it affects the people around you and sometimes the world as a whole. My advice is this: pick a purpose (a meaning, if you will) and stick with it. That is the meaning of life. Choosing something that you feel passionate about, something that you love, and dedicating yourself to it. Personally, I believe that my meaning in life is to help other people. Evaluating all of the actions that I've taken since I was very young, I have concluded that my purpose is to help people. I'm good at it. I enjoy it. Maybe it doesn't affect things on a universal scale, but it affects me, and it affects the people that I help. And for me, that's enough. My point is this: yes, thinking about philosophical questions and such can be really depressing. Trust me, my mom had to take me to a pastor when I was 7 because I wanted to know the meaning of life (in answer to your unasked question, no he did not give me a good answer, I thought he was full of shit). But just because those philosophers say that life is meaningless because it doesn't affect things on a greater scale doesn't mean that life is truly meaningless. If you go through your life believing that it is meaningless because it doesn't matter on a universal level then yes, you are going to be incredibly depressed. And I'm not sure ignoring those poking and prodding doubts is the way to go either (burying your head in the sand is generally never a good idea). But you can pick a meaning. So what if it doesn't matter a thousand years from now? It matters to you, now. So find something you're passionate about. Mine is very broad "helping people." Some people's are more specific. It doesn't matter what it is, only that you find it, and pursue it. Say "screw those philosopher dudes" and give your life a meaning. On a related note, believing that life has no meaning will, in my opinion, probably make your maladaptive daydreaming worse. After all, if life has no meaning and nothing matters, then it definitely doesn't matter if you live your life in a haze of daydreams instead of living in the real world and accepting all of the crappy things that come with it (existential doubt, heartbreak, anger, etc). So perhaps assigning a meaning to your life will make the grip of daydreaming lessen. I don't know about you, but personally, I don't believe I'm very efficient at pursuing my meaning in life when I spend my time daydreaming. Just something to think about. |
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Post by jack on Dec 30, 2018 0:38:06 GMT
I was watching short videos on different western philosophers on YouTube (The School of Life channel - Cioran, Satre, Kierkegard, Nietzsche) and it was very interesting to hear about the philosophers and their thoughts, although also very depressing. They all came to the conclusion that life is meaningless. I thought afterwards that watching those videos really did not do any good for me, as I was trying to get away from those thoughts. It really is better to not think deeply about anything and go through life "lightly", as it seems thats the only way you can be happy on a daily basis. That's also in a way, but less . I'm sorry if this just rambling. One of the fastest ways to make yourself feel like crap (or to give yourself an existential crisis) is to think of philosophical questions. However, while I understand that the "life is meaningless" idea is often one brought up by philosophers, I, personally, would amend it to this, "life has no meaning except what you give to it." True, the actions that we take may not affect the greater machinations of the universe. We may not be pieces in a giant universal puzzle. But that doesn't mean that life has no meaning at all. The good or the bad you do in life may not affect things on a universal scale, but it does affect you and it affects the people around you and sometimes the world as a whole. My advice is this: pick a purpose (a meaning, if you will) and stick with it. That is the meaning of life. Choosing something that you feel passionate about, something that you love, and dedicating yourself to it. Personally, I believe that my meaning in life is to help other people. Evaluating all of the actions that I've taken since I was very young, I have concluded that my purpose is to help people. I'm good at it. I enjoy it. Maybe it doesn't affect things on a universal scale, but it affects me, and it affects the people that I help. And for me, that's enough. My point is this: yes, about philosophical questions and such can be really depressing. Trust me, my mom had to take me to a pastor when I was 7 because I wanted to know the meaning of life (in answer to your unasked question, no he did not give me a good answer, I thought he was full of shit). But just because those philosophers say that life is meaningless because it doesn't affect things on a greater scale doesn't mean that life is truly meaningless. If you go through your life believing that it is meaningless because it doesn't matter on a universal level then yes, you are going to be incredibly depressed. And I'm  ignoring those poking and prodding doubts is the way to go either (burying your head in the sand is generally never a good idea). But you can pick a meaning. So what if it doesn't matter a thousand years from now? It matters to you, now. So find something you're passionate about. Mine is very broad "helping people." Some people's are more specific. It doesn't matter what it is, only that you find it, and pursue it. Say "screw those philosopher dudes" and give your life a meaning. On a related note, believing that life has no meaning will, in my opinion, probably make your maladaptive daydreaming worse. After all, if life has no meaning and nothing matters, then it definitely doesn't matter if you live your life in a haze of daydreams instead of living in the real world and accepting all of the crappy things that come with it (existential doubt, heartbreak, anger, etc). So perhaps assigning a meaning to your life will make the grip of daydreaming lessen. I don't know about you, but personally, I don't believe I'm very efficient at pursuing my meaning in life when I spend my time daydreaming. Just something to think about. Totally agree, and great response. The only thing is for each individual, we have to find that meaning/purpose that is "enough" to live happily. Personally for me that feels (almost) impossible. I hope I can do that one day, and one day soon, with God's help. I agree that life has no meaning only aggravates the daydreaming. That's absolutely true. Any sort of depressing though like that will lead you to escape that pain and go off into a world where you find meaning. Ok so I suppose I should amend the thought that all our lives have no meaning. I would say lives such as those that have accomplished a great deal through their work and have achieved a high level of fame because of that live meaningful lives (for me personally I see that as for example Springsteen, M. Jordan, DiCaprio, etc.). For myself, a cubical consultant/govt contractor outside of DC, I look around during the workday and sometimes have acute anxiety when I realize all of this stuff is totally meaningless. I think how amazing it must feel to be the three people I listed earlier, or even someone on the periphery, like a Justin Bieber.......yes you could say, what meaning has Bieber brought in peoples lives, but, if he wanted, he could really have a positive effect on peoples lives and the world if he wanted to. Also, he can interact with other high profile people and live in that world of meaningful lives (in my eyes anyway). For me, that's all I dream about. an off topic question, is anyone taking anti-depressants? I'm looking to start one soon and I would like to hear any recommendations. I tried Luvox (supposedly a maladaptive daydream cure) but it gave me serious suicidal thoughts. I was actually planning my suicide. Thank you in advance! |
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Post by Sam on Dec 30, 2018 0:54:40 GMT
One of the fastest ways to make yourself feel like crap (or to give yourself an existential crisis) is to think of philosophical questions. However, while I understand that the "life is meaningless" idea is often one brought up by philosophers, I, personally, would amend it to this, "life has no meaning except what you give to it." True, the actions that we take may not affect the greater machinations of the universe. We may not be pieces in a giant universal puzzle. But that doesn't mean that life has no meaning at all. The good or the bad you do in life may not affect things on a universal scale, but it does affect you and it affects the people around you and sometimes the world as a whole. My advice is this: pick a purpose (a meaning, if you will) and stick with it. That is the meaning of life. Choosing something that you feel passionate about, something that you love, and dedicating yourself to it. Personally, I believe that my meaning in life is to help other people. Evaluating all of the actions that I've taken since I was very young, I have concluded that my purpose is to help people. I'm good at it. I enjoy it. Maybe it doesn't affect things on a universal scale, but it affects me, and it affects the people that I help. And for me, that's enough. My point is this: yes, about philosophical questions and such can be really depressing. Trust me, my mom had to take me to a pastor when I was 7 because I wanted to know the meaning of life (in answer to your unasked question, no he did not give me a good answer, I thought he was full of shit). But just because those philosophers say that life is meaningless because it doesn't affect things on a greater scale doesn't mean that life is truly meaningless. If you go through your life believing that it is meaningless because it doesn't matter on a universal level then yes, you are going to be incredibly depressed. And I'm ignoring those poking and prodding doubts is the way to go either (burying your head in the sand is generally never a good idea). But you can pick a meaning. So what if it doesn't matter a thousand years from now? It matters to you, now. So find something you're passionate about. Mine is very broad "helping people." Some people's are more specific. It doesn't matter what it is, only that you find it, and pursue it. Say "screw those philosopher dudes" and give your life a meaning. On a related note, believing that life has no meaning will, in my opinion, probably make your maladaptive daydreaming worse. After all, if life has no meaning and nothing matters, then it definitely doesn't matter if you live your life in a haze of daydreams instead of living in the real world and accepting all of the crappy things that come with it (existential doubt, heartbreak, anger, etc). So perhaps assigning a meaning to your life will make the grip of daydreaming lessen. I don't know about you, but personally, I don't believe I'm very efficient at pursuing my meaning in life when I spend my time daydreaming. Just something to think about. an off topic question, is anyone taking anti-depressants? I'm looking to start one soon and I would like to hear any recommendations. I tried Luvox (supposedly a maladaptive daydream cure) but it gave me serious suicidal thoughts. I was actually planning my suicide. Thank you in advance! I'm currently taking mirtazapine. I started it in early November 2017. I would recommend trying it simply because I haven't felt really any side effects,but I'll be entirely honest and say that I'm not sure its working for me. However, my circumstances are naturally a lot bleaker than most people's and I'm unsure if any antidepressant could overcome that. I tried 2 other antidepressants years ago. I can't remember the names and don't have the energy to look it up in my medical records, but they were fairly common ones. One I took for maybe a month? But I stopped because it made me nauseous and gave me horrible mood swings (I was unaware that I had bipolar disorder, which makes a difference on what meds they'll give you). The other I only took once because it gave me a panic attack so bad that I refused to take it again. |
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Post by jack on Dec 30, 2018 2:55:24 GMT
an off topic question, is anyone taking anti-depressants? I'm looking to start one soon and I would like to hear any recommendations. I tried Luvox (supposedly a maladaptive daydream cure) but it gave me serious suicidal thoughts. I was actually planning my suicide. Thank you in advance! I'm currently taking mirtazapine. I started it in early November 2017. I would recommend trying it simply because I haven't felt really any side effects,but I'll be entirely honest and say that I'm its working for me. However, my circumstances are naturally a lot bleaker than most people's and I'm unsure if any antidepressant could overcome that. I tried 2 other antidepressants years ago. I can't remember the names and don't have the energy to look it up in my medical records, but they were fairly common ones. One I took for maybe a month? But I stopped because it made me nauseous and gave me horrible mood swings (I was unaware that I had bipolar disorder, which makes a difference on what meds they'll give you). The other I only took once because it gave me a panic attack so bad that I refused to take it again. I've also taken Lexapro, Wellbutrin, Abilify, and Pristiq in the past. Pristiq is the most recent, about a year ago, but really bad nausea, also some insomia. Would take a very long time for me to get to sleep. The other 3 I don't remember as they were a couple of years ago and more, but I remember feeling cloudy and therefore stopping at least one of them. I hope I can just take something, continue with therapy (although I think i need to find a new therapist as this guy doesn't ever write anything down and he forgets what he tells me), and somehow survive. Today has been a really bad day for me with triggers and the daydreaming. I constantly stop myself and think "why am I doing this, it's such a waste of time", but it's so hard to stop. Stopping it also makes me think about reality and how depressing that really is, and has been, and will continue to be until I'm dead. Really that's the only relief I see. Not that I'm suicidal. I just really look forward to it all being over, and there will be no worries, no longing, no regret, no daydreaming. |
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Post by seeker on Jan 7, 2019 18:19:36 GMT
so much in this , swirling thoughts, where to begin. For depression meds I gave had luck with Zoloft, fairly common one. I have taken Saphris which is not for depression, but is listed as an antipsychotic. it sucked for me, made me feel horrible. Was suppposed to be treatment for bi-polar which i dont even think i ever had. but more importantly i think it is to find the right therapist. If they dont get you,or you don't trust them its gong to go terribly wrong. as far as not wanting to give up or cure md, definitely agree. i enjoy them very much. The only times i feel they are troublesome,is when its a realistic scenerio, playing out posibilities, and i end up reacting or making choices based on the dd, as if it actually happened. i have gotten angry or agreed to do something based on the events and feelings that my dd provoked. i have recently started to catch and observe the reaction, to be aware of when my responses dont match actual events. The other trouble is being unaware of what im physically doing during those times,and perhaps being seen doing it (like talking,gesturing etc) |
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Post by jack on Jan 9, 2019 23:26:02 GMT
I finally went to my primary doc yesterday after just procrastinating since my horrible experience with Luvox. Although I'm also procrastinating seeing a psychiatrist, which I really should just asap. Anyway, he has given me Zoloft now, very low starter dose for the next month to see how I react. He doesn't want me to have the same experience I had with Luvox.
My daydreams can be so bad lately. Especially in the shower for some reason. I also recently just bought The Power of Now by Tolle, hoping it will help me be "more present" and live in the now, and just let go of the past and not worry about the future. I'll let you guys now how it goes after I finish the book. Anyone else read the book? Did it help.
I'm trying you know. But, I don't think it will ever go away. I feel like my overall disappointment in myself and my life, which is what daydreams help me escape from, will always be there. I feel like I just need to bear it, until I'm finally free, like we all will be, once we're dead. I'm not saying I'm suicidal, just that I look forward to that day of relief and release.
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, I might elaborate on that later). How am I supposed to hate something that kind of helped to get me so far in life?
to themselves in the middle of class 
, my heart's breaking. 
ignoring those poking and prodding doubts is the way to go either (burying your head in the sand is generally never a good idea). But you can pick a meaning. So what if it doesn't matter a thousand years from now? It matters to you, now. So find something you're passionate about. Mine is very broad "helping people." Some people's are more specific. It doesn't matter what it is, only that you find it, and pursue it. Say "screw those philosopher dudes" and give your life a meaning.