Post by gia on Dec 30, 2018 2:31:11 GMT
Hi everyone! I'm a little nervous but very happy to finally be sharing my experiences with this community! Here goes...
The first daydreaming incident I remember was in second grade. There was a playground next to my house growing up, and I used to sit in one of those ceilinged "inlets" at the top of a spiral slide. I remember daydreaming about being a teenage girl with sparkly blue eyeshadow... this is one of the few and strange details I remember. But in the daydream, I was running around that same playground. That memory reminds me a bit of my experience with daydreaming now because I preferred just to think about playing in the playground than actually doing it.
Now, I daydream about celebrities interspersed with some people from my real life. Sometimes it's characters in movies/tv shows and sometimes the actors/actresses themselves. The stories are almost always based around a romantic storyline, but I have friends and family in the storylines to make it more realistic. I feel like I probably have 10 storylines going on right now. I guess if I see the person I daydream about, that is a "trigger." But I enjoy putting music on shuffle and let the mood of the music dictate what storyline I choose. In all of my storylines, I feel like I'm a slightly better and more well-liked version of myself, but my personality is pretty much the same in every story.
In terms of the GOOD ways I've used/benefitted from daydreaming: I have learned that it really helps me when I am working out, running in particular. I can get lost in my storylines and forget about the fact that I'm running. I even remember a time in a high school soccer game when I pretended like I was in one of my worlds and I could control how I played. I only successfully did this once, but it was actually very successful and the most fun I have ever had playing soccer. I also struggle sometimes in social situations, and as a fail-safe, I think: "what would I do in my daydreams." It actually makes me a little more confident, but I'm trying not to get too attached to this because it doesn't feel very authentic.
Ok now for the things I need help with when it comes to excessive daydreaming/possible MD: I've always struggled with insecurity and self-confidence. I had a good childhood, but I kind of trace my insecurity to neglect as a child. It wasn't anyone's fault in particular, but the neglect just comes with having perfect older siblings and being very naturally shy. Sometimes I think I rely too much on daydreams to make me happy. I worry that it sets my expectations for my relationships, my family, and my future too high. I also can't decide if it has helped or hurt my self-esteem. I recognize that my idealized version of myself when I'm daydreaming is unattainable... And I feel like I'm striving to be this version of me, which feels like I'm trying to be someone I'm not. On the other hand, because things tend to go well for me in my stories, I feel happier after daydreaming. If I don't remind myself that I've been daydreaming, I feel confident and empowered.
That intro was a lot longer than I expected. If it's too long to read, just read the above paragraph. I would love input on whether or not people think my daydreaming is healthy for my self-esteem, and I would greatly appreciate any advice on how I can work on being more comfortable with myself in real life (Is the daydreaming helping or hurting me?) Thank you all for reading! I'm so happy to be a part of this community
The first daydreaming incident I remember was in second grade. There was a playground next to my house growing up, and I used to sit in one of those ceilinged "inlets" at the top of a spiral slide. I remember daydreaming about being a teenage girl with sparkly blue eyeshadow... this is one of the few and strange details I remember. But in the daydream, I was running around that same playground. That memory reminds me a bit of my experience with daydreaming now because I preferred just to think about playing in the playground than actually doing it.
Now, I daydream about celebrities interspersed with some people from my real life. Sometimes it's characters in movies/tv shows and sometimes the actors/actresses themselves. The stories are almost always based around a romantic storyline, but I have friends and family in the storylines to make it more realistic. I feel like I probably have 10 storylines going on right now. I guess if I see the person I daydream about, that is a "trigger." But I enjoy putting music on shuffle and let the mood of the music dictate what storyline I choose. In all of my storylines, I feel like I'm a slightly better and more well-liked version of myself, but my personality is pretty much the same in every story.
In terms of the GOOD ways I've used/benefitted from daydreaming: I have learned that it really helps me when I am working out, running in particular. I can get lost in my storylines and forget about the fact that I'm running. I even remember a time in a high school soccer game when I pretended like I was in one of my worlds and I could control how I played. I only successfully did this once, but it was actually very successful and the most fun I have ever had playing soccer. I also struggle sometimes in social situations, and as a fail-safe, I think: "what would I do in my daydreams." It actually makes me a little more confident, but I'm trying not to get too attached to this because it doesn't feel very authentic.
Ok now for the things I need help with when it comes to excessive daydreaming/possible MD: I've always struggled with insecurity and self-confidence. I had a good childhood, but I kind of trace my insecurity to neglect as a child. It wasn't anyone's fault in particular, but the neglect just comes with having perfect older siblings and being very naturally shy. Sometimes I think I rely too much on daydreams to make me happy. I worry that it sets my expectations for my relationships, my family, and my future too high. I also can't decide if it has helped or hurt my self-esteem. I recognize that my idealized version of myself when I'm daydreaming is unattainable... And I feel like I'm striving to be this version of me, which feels like I'm trying to be someone I'm not. On the other hand, because things tend to go well for me in my stories, I feel happier after daydreaming. If I don't remind myself that I've been daydreaming, I feel confident and empowered.
That intro was a lot longer than I expected. If it's too long to read, just read the above paragraph. I would love input on whether or not people think my daydreaming is healthy for my self-esteem, and I would greatly appreciate any advice on how I can work on being more comfortable with myself in real life (Is the daydreaming helping or hurting me?) Thank you all for reading! I'm so happy to be a part of this community
