I've been MD for a very long time, but I never told anyone.
Everytime I watch something interesting or read something interesting, it kick start my dreams.
When I'm daydreaming, I oftenly go to my room and close the curtains and every source of light, put my headphones on and hold my phone in my left hand while turning around myself. And the thing is, I can go like this for more than 3 hours without noticing at all.
My legs would hurt and my toes would bleed, but I wouldn't feel anything.
The world in my head was so real, so much more interesting it took over my life.
I am a high school students, I can't let something like that take over me, I need to focus my attention on my studies, but god, I can't.
I daydream for 3 hours everyday on average and it has caused me many health problems.
It damaged my left eye, since my room is dark and the light in my left hand is focused on me left eye.
I need glasses to see now.
I also have social anxiety, and I can't bear to look into people's eyes, not even my parents or my brothers and sisters.
I tried once to get rid of it by not listening to music at all,but I when I did this I had many panic attacks and I grew more anxious than before.
I just couldn't.
It's really embarrassing, I feel very stupid, I've been depressed for a very long time too. I cry everyday on nonsense, sometimes on nothing.
I think of suiciding sometimes, but I know I don't have the strength to do it. Cause I'm so weak.
Maybe that's why I have MD, I'm so weak I can't accept the way my life is.