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Post by emma on Feb 28, 2019 6:34:35 GMT
Often times I use my daydreaming as a way to escape the not so great reality I've been left with. Usually, I don't have an issue doing this. I'm a lonely person. I'm not in school. I have no job. There's nothing for me to do except daydream. More recently that hasn't been the case. I haven't been busy or had more responsibilities than usual, I just haven't been daydreaming as much. And when I do, I always get kicked down by reality when I come out of it. Reality is cruel and terrible and I hate it. I just wanna live in a fantasy world forever and not have to struggle anymore, but if I keep doing that I'll ruin my own life. I'm scared. I don't wanna face reality. I'm not ready for that yet, but I don't have time to waste daydreaming anymore. I have to face it and deal with the consequences no matter how much I don't want to. I just wish my daydreams were real. (Also I apologize if this is in the wrong discussion. I'm still how to categorize my posts properly yet.)
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elioelioelio
New Daydreamer
I think too much and care too much but tomorrow I’ll do better
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Post by elioelioelio on Mar 1, 2019 0:59:36 GMT
Hey Emma. I completely get what you mean. However, I’ve been told by Lucy on here (I tried to tag but how to), that maybe you should allocate time to daydream. Kinda like a schedule because they you can get into a routine where you do your reality stuff and then have allotted some time to daydream. I found that, personally, I’ve tried to surpress day dreaming for whatever matter and I get being worried about 19383729283 all at the same time. However, I think you’ll feel better when you can do both. Face reality and daydream. Because then you won’t feel guilty about doing it. It’s kinda like watching tv when you’re supposed to be revising. You play to revise and then you take an hour long break and instead of watching tv you can use that hour to daydream as a reward for facing reality. Because I understand that the real world will never be as good at the ones we make up. How can they be? I’ve just read something that I want to quote because it makes sense or seems applicable but here’s the quote: “Lightly, lightly. Learn to do everything lightly. Feel lightly even though you’re feeling deeply. Just lightly let these things happen and lightly cope with them. I was so preposterously serious in those days. Lightly was the best advice given to me. To throw away your back age and go forward”. I hope that wasn’t nonsense. I think daydreaming is a coping mechanism and is different for everyone and although we can agree that people may or may not be addicted to day dreaming I think it’s Safe to say that we all do it and it makes your day better and more bearable. An escape. Finally I want to address the worries! I read somewhere else that we weren’t put on this planet to lose weight and worry about money. And all the things Theaxe has stated above are all perfectly good worries but it’s better (and easier said than done I know because I find it hard to take my own advice) to daydream and push these worries which will either inevitably happen or just to continue through life and try to worry a little bit less per thing. Because either way, worrying isn’t going to help your mental health or affect the situations that you are worrying about if 1) they haven’t happened yet and 2) you have no way to affect their outcome so you might as well make yourself feel ‘lighter’ and/or better and cope with things that are going to affect your life that day. Like waking up at a certain hour or doing things to make you feel good. Like a self care list always helps me plus putting time aside to Day dream and once you’ve done some stuff on. Your self care you’ll have forgotten about worrying and how harsh reality is and will actually be able to breathe a bit better. I’m sorry this is so long guys I really hope this helps and doesn’t sound like rubbish! Ps What I’ve written isn’t a comment on how anyone is feeling abd I’m not negating anything you or Theaxe has said because we are all different individuals dealing with different issues so I’m just making sure my comments are representative of my own opinions and may not be for everyone!
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Post by Lucy on Mar 1, 2019 19:12:46 GMT
Hey Emma,
Maybe you should think about other ways you can escape reality that have more of a positive effect? For example, I like painting as it's very therapeutic and I tend to forget about what ever is on my mind and just focus on what I'm painting. There's also exercise or maybe yoga or meditating? It depends what's works best for you. I guess it can be away to not necessarily escape reality like when you daydream but it can take what ever is worrying you or making you unhappy off your mind.
I hope this was helpful!
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elioelioelio
New Daydreamer
I think too much and care too much but tomorrow I’ll do better
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Post by elioelioelio on Mar 1, 2019 20:34:36 GMT
Ps What I’ve written isn’t a comment on how anyone is feeling abd I’m not negating anything you or Theaxe has said because we are all different individuals dealing with different issues so I’m just making sure my comments are representative of my own opinions and may not be for everyone! I just realized I started my own comment with "Don't worry" then went on to talk about how much I worry. (I meant don't worry about where the post was categorized.) I do worry a lot, but mainly about things that very easily could happen or that are happening now. For example, I worry about my weight because it is currently not good. I'm quite conscious that my body is not the acceptable weight in society, and that so-called, well-meaning people will mask their contempt with phony concerns about my health. (Newsflash: my health is surprisingly good, if not excellent.) I worry about money because currently, it's dwindling away. I worry about my car dying because it is already 15 years old and is showing signs of giving up. Because I worry about money, I worry about the car. I don't know what brought on the worrying, but my mom has been a worry-wart her entire life, and watching and listening to her worry about things since I was a little girl might have taught me to start worrying myself. Maybe. I'm if 'worrying' is technically something you learn or have it genetically passed down to you but it was definitely apparent in my house growing up. Hey, no problem haha I agree! All of your worries and problems are all valid and I completely get how you feel. I think the worst thing about having social media or anything about what society says about weight just gives people more reasons to be anxious. It's like inviting in anxiousness. When in reality, and this is genuinely only from my own experience (and I want to reiterate it might not be similar for you or applicable because we're two different people), but weight shouldn't equate to happiness. I know this, for a fact, because I've gone through comparing myself to so many people. I came out of a breakup and I lost so much weight from doing starvation cardio and general anorexia and bulimia so I was a 22 inch waist. And believe me, i was not happy and was almost hospitalised because society (fake society) portrays that being skinny = to happiness. And it doesn't. (Also, I realise that we are in very different situations and experience different things and I'm not trying to compare my situation to yours, I'm just giving you my experience of when I was unhappy with my weight) I think you should only do what makes you happy and fuck everyone else and everyone else's expectations. (Sorry for the lang), but my attitude is if you're worried about something that you can control somehow then you will see improvement. It's really good that your health is good and excellent and that's one of the most important things. My boyfriend is gym crazy and when I say I'm unhappy with myself he suggests things (like training or eating 'better') or whatever, but I personally can't because I'm scared of restricting myself with food and then i'll go down the spiral all over again. But I do agree that exercise is good and will make you feel good about yourself (sorry cliche). (And also sorry for assuming anything, i'm trying to be careful about what i say because i know that people can react differently to what i'm perceived to put across) sorry if that doesn't make sense! I agree with money too money is a huge problem. And yes your car is showing signs, but if it hasn't given out yet then maybe don't think about it until the time comes or put into place a plan for when the time comes so you're prepared. I have severe anxiety when it comes to money and i've taken out loads, i got let go from my job (hence the increased daydreaming) and haven't found anything since, i haven't paid rent in like two months and couldn't afford to eat last week so I honestly do understand your fears about money but I think it always has to get bad before it gets good you know? I think (and again sorry for assuming anything!), maybe speak to your partner about the car and money and see what he says because sometimes speaking about things can help, if not maybe try to get some financial advice from either your bank or have a look online? (i'm what to do in this situation because i've never experienced it), but i really hope this helps somehow and i haven't come across as 'YOU SHOULD DO THIS BECAUSE THIS IS THE RIGHT WAY' when i have no idea.
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Icy
New Daydreamer
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Post by Icy on Mar 25, 2019 1:32:56 GMT
Often times I use my daydreaming as a way to escape the not so great reality I've been left with. Usually, I don't have an issue doing this. I'm a lonely person. I'm not in school. I have no job. There's nothing for me to do except daydream. More recently that hasn't been the case. I haven't been busy or had more responsibilities than usual, I just haven't been daydreaming as much. And when I do, I always get kicked down by reality when I come out of it. Reality is cruel and terrible and I hate it. I just wanna live in a fantasy world forever and not have to struggle anymore, but if I keep doing that I'll ruin my own life. I'm scared. I don't wanna face reality. I'm not ready for that yet, but I don't have time to waste daydreaming anymore. I have to face it and deal with the consequences no matter how much I don't want to. I just wish my daydreams were real. (Also I apologize if this is in the wrong discussion. I'm still how to categorize my posts properly yet.) Hi Emma, I can relate to this so much. All of it.
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