That feeling when you knew you should be doing something and you'd like to just be able to do that thing and want to do it, but for some reason you really don't want to get to that yet. I don't even know how else to explain it. It's more than just lazy, it's kind of more like the imposter task situation.
Useless. Taking up space. Like a let down. Like a faker. Like I'm tricking people to my advantage. If my favorite professor saw what I did with my life, it wouldn't be something he could bare accepting to be true daily. I'm really a waste and I know it.
Kind of stressed, trying not to daydream takes up as much time and energy as daydreaming right now. Additionally, trying to face my own problems (especially my issue of having low self-esteem) without a DD setting is also worrying me.
However, I'm kinda optimistic at the same time. I'm serious about facing MD and the results will show eventually!
I've always avoided socialising in any way idk exactly what is was, I was pretty much depressed all the time. I don't feel that way anymore, for the first time ever I feel like I want to socialise and be out there. I took a gap year so between losing most of my old friends and not having a place to make new ones, it has been difficult.