That feeling when you knew you should be doing something and you'd like to just be able to do that thing and want to do it, but for some reason you really don't want to get to that yet. I don't even know how else to explain it. It's more than just lazy, it's kind of more like the imposter task situation.
Useless. Taking up space. Like a let down. Like a faker. Like I'm tricking people to my advantage. If my favorite professor saw what I did with my life, it wouldn't be something he could bare accepting to be true daily. I'm really a waste and I know it.