Post by lonewolf009 on Mar 16, 2019 13:21:39 GMT
Hello, I just joined and will post an intro later. I wanted to find out more first about MD. I've been zoning out/daydreaming about random stuff since I was a kid, and although it affected my ability to pay attention in class in high school and college I didn't consider it a problem and just thought it was a wierd quirk of mine and that everyone daydreams to some extent, maybe I just have a more active imagination.
Recently though I've been having struggles with mental health, like depression, anxiety,and almost constant panic. The past two months have been extra intense and I started seeing/ imagining things to a point that alarmed me. I tried to figure out what's going on and did research on the internet. I was reading about "instrusive thoughts" and that sounded like me because I experienced two of the examples given: a sensation that someone is going to attack (my imagination made that specifically a man with a baseball bat standing behind me), and yelling in church (but I wasn't at church when I imagined this and yelled at a specific person for a specific statement they never made in real life).
The internet defines intrusive thoughts as thoughts that are involuntary and cause distress. Does MD do the same? I occasionally dream up storylines, more than just thoughts and sensations like a man with a baseball bat, but actual settings and situations that are disturbing. Many othe times though I'll also dream up things that are nice, like once I was having lunch at home and suddenly in my head I was on vacation somewhere pleasent. But then I'd have these disturbing fantasies and they would come back over and over, sometimes every few seconds, almost like OCD or something? I don't know. It got to a point that I felt like I lived in another imaginary world more than mine, and that I liked that world better. On some days it was so bad I'd get happy when I came back to the real world for a few minutes, only to get sucked into the other one again because the pain of the real world just wasn't tolerable.
The fantasies were intensfied at the same time I had a major depressive episode, so I think it correlates. Now my depression has lifted, so I don't get the fantasies all thr time like before and I feel more stable atm. I still daydream a lot though.
Also, when I zone out I pace, have repititive movements, make facial expressions, whisper and laugh during fantasies. I listen to music a TON and can't live without that. I can do this for more than an hour.
Does it sound like I have MD? I was worried about schizophrenia, but I read MD is different because you know you are fantasizing. I do know that it's fantasy, but how much does that awareness count when I hardly seem to know when I'm making gestures or talking out loud? Also, can MD be involuntary like intrusive thoughts? I don't even really understand what the difference is. Can anyone clarify for me please? Thank you.
Recently though I've been having struggles with mental health, like depression, anxiety,and almost constant panic. The past two months have been extra intense and I started seeing/ imagining things to a point that alarmed me. I tried to figure out what's going on and did research on the internet. I was reading about "instrusive thoughts" and that sounded like me because I experienced two of the examples given: a sensation that someone is going to attack (my imagination made that specifically a man with a baseball bat standing behind me), and yelling in church (but I wasn't at church when I imagined this and yelled at a specific person for a specific statement they never made in real life).
The internet defines intrusive thoughts as thoughts that are involuntary and cause distress. Does MD do the same? I occasionally dream up storylines, more than just thoughts and sensations like a man with a baseball bat, but actual settings and situations that are disturbing. Many othe times though I'll also dream up things that are nice, like once I was having lunch at home and suddenly in my head I was on vacation somewhere pleasent. But then I'd have these disturbing fantasies and they would come back over and over, sometimes every few seconds, almost like OCD or something? I don't know. It got to a point that I felt like I lived in another imaginary world more than mine, and that I liked that world better. On some days it was so bad I'd get happy when I came back to the real world for a few minutes, only to get sucked into the other one again because the pain of the real world just wasn't tolerable.
The fantasies were intensfied at the same time I had a major depressive episode, so I think it correlates. Now my depression has lifted, so I don't get the fantasies all thr time like before and I feel more stable atm. I still daydream a lot though.
Also, when I zone out I pace, have repititive movements, make facial expressions, whisper and laugh during fantasies. I listen to music a TON and can't live without that. I can do this for more than an hour.
Does it sound like I have MD? I was worried about schizophrenia, but I read MD is different because you know you are fantasizing. I do know that it's fantasy, but how much does that awareness count when I hardly seem to know when I'm making gestures or talking out loud? Also, can MD be involuntary like intrusive thoughts? I don't even really understand what the difference is. Can anyone clarify for me please? Thank you.
