Post by tinyalien on Mar 23, 2019 17:08:46 GMT
Hello Everyone,
So yesterday I found out about MDD and I was so happy and relieved to know that sooo many people are having the exact same experience that I have had pretty much for as long as I can remember. I actually was so
that I immediately began to create a profile but literally began day dreaming about MDD and never actually completed this post until now.
As a child I’ve always been a day dreamer. I loved television shows and books. I’m also a writer and would always write pages and pages of stories and would read an entire book everyday. I read books during classes unrelated to the books, I would read books during gym class and spend my summers reading and even asked for books for Christmas. I also watched hours and hours of television and lastly I would listen to music for hours at a time as well. These three things : books music and television became my triggers.
I usually tend to mix up fictional characters with people I know in my own life. I twist and turn the plot to go in any and all directions that I want. Something I never was really conscious of until reading other threads and message boards about the subject is how addicting it feels. I never thought I was addicted to day dreaming but that I was just unfocused , short attention span, that I was smart and creative and that I really understood people (for some reason my day dreaming makes me feel very open to people and anything ; I’m not at all a judge mental person) BUT also how could I judge someone or feel the need to when I have such a strange behavior that I’m honestly so EMBARRASSED OF IT . Like I could never do this in front of anyone. And my brain knows that it’s normal behavior and that I shouldn’t do it in front of people because I only have the urge when I’m alone and can only do it when I’m alone . My TICK or repetitive behavior is rocking back and forth, moving my hands fast in an up and down motion, running back and forth or skipping back and forth, hopping in on place while doing the hand motions, whispering , mouthing and sometimes moving my tongue around or scratching my tongue lightly with my teeth. I have a lot of these tendencies. Almost all of them that people have described. Basically when I’m alone I turn into a complete SPAZ. I know all my fantasies are not real, I have a job and a boyfriend and plenty of friends although not as many as I used to have .
I’m 25 years old now and it feels the older I get the more alone I prefer to be. I will literally procrastinate, have no motivation or any grit to really get started to go do anything productive because I get lost in my own world .
My family knows about it. They have walked in on my many times doing it and I was just so EMBARRASSED. They laugh or think it’s weird , ask me if I’m crazy, or what am I doing . But for the most part we never talk about it or discuss it. No one ever seemed concerned or felt the need to take me to see anyone for the behavior.
It says that for some people this was triggered by trauma at childhood which is true in my case. I’ve had a very chaotic childhood and I never felt quiet safe. And I think my fantasy world always felt better then my reality. It was more interesting, more glamorous, I was always a better version of myself in my head instead of making that version of myself a reality. I’m obsessed with knowledge and intelligence . I often say dream about myself making a speech for a Nobel prize or changing the world. But actually I just spend most of my days in my room doing nothing of significance.
I’ve managed to figure out how to day dream everywhere
Work , home , walking ( sometimes I will day dream so deeply that I’m walking to a destination and I arrive at the door and realize that I don’t remember anything between the subway and the door. It’s like I completely blacked out and only realized I did that until I arrive where I’m supposed to me. My body goes on auto pilot and I’m just day dreaming and walking. I don’t remember anything I’ve passed or anyone I’ve walked by because I had completely spaced out )
AND GOD FORBID MY TWO HOUR SHOWERS SOMETIMES. I know most people think in the shower but literally that’s another zone out place. Sometimes hours have passed in the shower and for me it feels like 20 minuets.
I need HELP . How do you guys handle this ? Cope with it ? What are some tools I can use to calm the behavior down or control it . I’m always late everywhere . I have interest in limited amount of things . Especially before work I will stretch out getting ready until the last second . Sometimes I get lost several times day dreaming while getting ready anywhere and have to tell myself HELLO JUST GET YOUR CLOTHES ON PLEASE. I just need some tools here! I mean don’t get me wrong I have friends and people around me . When I’m out with people or around people I don’t do it . But regardless it happens everyday and it doesn’t get in the way except I takes over a lot of time and makes me feel lazy and unproductive. and definitely happens everyday. So anyone have any WORDS OF WISDOM?
So yesterday I found out about MDD and I was so happy and relieved to know that sooo many people are having the exact same experience that I have had pretty much for as long as I can remember. I actually was so
that I immediately began to create a profile but literally began day dreaming about MDD and never actually completed this post until now. As a child I’ve always been a day dreamer. I loved television shows and books. I’m also a writer and would always write pages and pages of stories and would read an entire book everyday. I read books during classes unrelated to the books, I would read books during gym class and spend my summers reading and even asked for books for Christmas. I also watched hours and hours of television and lastly I would listen to music for hours at a time as well. These three things : books music and television became my triggers.
I usually tend to mix up fictional characters with people I know in my own life. I twist and turn the plot to go in any and all directions that I want. Something I never was really conscious of until reading other threads and message boards about the subject is how addicting it feels. I never thought I was addicted to day dreaming but that I was just unfocused , short attention span, that I was smart and creative and that I really understood people (for some reason my day dreaming makes me feel very open to people and anything ; I’m not at all a judge mental person) BUT also how could I judge someone or feel the need to when I have such a strange behavior that I’m honestly so EMBARRASSED OF IT . Like I could never do this in front of anyone. And my brain knows that it’s normal behavior and that I shouldn’t do it in front of people because I only have the urge when I’m alone and can only do it when I’m alone . My TICK or repetitive behavior is rocking back and forth, moving my hands fast in an up and down motion, running back and forth or skipping back and forth, hopping in on place while doing the hand motions, whispering , mouthing and sometimes moving my tongue around or scratching my tongue lightly with my teeth. I have a lot of these tendencies. Almost all of them that people have described. Basically when I’m alone I turn into a complete SPAZ. I know all my fantasies are not real, I have a job and a boyfriend and plenty of friends although not as many as I used to have .
I’m 25 years old now and it feels the older I get the more alone I prefer to be. I will literally procrastinate, have no motivation or any grit to really get started to go do anything productive because I get lost in my own world .
My family knows about it. They have walked in on my many times doing it and I was just so EMBARRASSED. They laugh or think it’s weird , ask me if I’m crazy, or what am I doing . But for the most part we never talk about it or discuss it. No one ever seemed concerned or felt the need to take me to see anyone for the behavior.
It says that for some people this was triggered by trauma at childhood which is true in my case. I’ve had a very chaotic childhood and I never felt quiet safe. And I think my fantasy world always felt better then my reality. It was more interesting, more glamorous, I was always a better version of myself in my head instead of making that version of myself a reality. I’m obsessed with knowledge and intelligence . I often say dream about myself making a speech for a Nobel prize or changing the world. But actually I just spend most of my days in my room doing nothing of significance.
I’ve managed to figure out how to day dream everywhere
Work , home , walking ( sometimes I will day dream so deeply that I’m walking to a destination and I arrive at the door and realize that I don’t remember anything between the subway and the door. It’s like I completely blacked out and only realized I did that until I arrive where I’m supposed to me. My body goes on auto pilot and I’m just day dreaming and walking. I don’t remember anything I’ve passed or anyone I’ve walked by because I had completely spaced out )
AND GOD FORBID MY TWO HOUR SHOWERS SOMETIMES. I know most people think in the shower but literally that’s another zone out place. Sometimes hours have passed in the shower and for me it feels like 20 minuets.
I need HELP . How do you guys handle this ? Cope with it ? What are some tools I can use to calm the behavior down or control it . I’m always late everywhere . I have interest in limited amount of things . Especially before work I will stretch out getting ready until the last second . Sometimes I get lost several times day dreaming while getting ready anywhere and have to tell myself HELLO JUST GET YOUR CLOTHES ON PLEASE. I just need some tools here! I mean don’t get me wrong I have friends and people around me . When I’m out with people or around people I don’t do it . But regardless it happens everyday and it doesn’t get in the way except I takes over a lot of time and makes me feel lazy and unproductive. and definitely happens everyday. So anyone have any WORDS OF WISDOM?
, me giving advice.
, me giving advice.