Post by elioelioelio on Mar 26, 2019 23:33:18 GMT
I find that when I sleep I have really powerful, vivid dreams that’s stay with me and I’ll think about these dreams (that have often conceded or centred around previous - failed - relationships where they’re still objects of desire in my subconscious even though I’m in a relationship) and I’ll wake up from my slumber and feel disorientated. I have this feeling of longing from the dream that stays with me and I’ll try my hardest to retain it or remember it?
I guess that sometimes spurs on my MD tendencies, but recently I had one about my most previous ex and then when I woke up and checked social media (his) I saw that he had posted a picture with a girl he’s been seeing (even though I’ve been in a separate relationship for well over a year now) and I felt slighted and taken aback as though my dream was real where he was interested or whatever ? I’m unsure if that made sense.
Also, I read somewhere (I find that I’m always so reminiscent of the past and nostalgia tricks you into believing the past is better than the present) that when you have experienced trauma or undergone shock in anyway you’re trapped in that moment forever. And I assimilate to this so much, I genuinely believe that to be true. I’m always always always remembering situations (my life I feel and all of my encounters with everyone) in great, minute detail and will try and glimpse into the lives of my previous relationships and their girlfriends and make some kind of comparison to my own life. It’s super unhealthy I know but it’s almost become a habit. I’ll imagine their lives and wonder what they’re doing as though I know them but I’m trapped in the moment of when I experienced heartbreak for the first time let’s say?
I do this and I daydream and sleep excessively when I’m
or bored but I think my life is going past me way too quickly and I’m trying to recapture the past which isn’t possible.
I guess that sometimes spurs on my MD tendencies, but recently I had one about my most previous ex and then when I woke up and checked social media (his) I saw that he had posted a picture with a girl he’s been seeing (even though I’ve been in a separate relationship for well over a year now) and I felt slighted and taken aback as though my dream was real where he was interested or whatever ? I’m unsure if that made sense.
Also, I read somewhere (I find that I’m always so reminiscent of the past and nostalgia tricks you into believing the past is better than the present) that when you have experienced trauma or undergone shock in anyway you’re trapped in that moment forever. And I assimilate to this so much, I genuinely believe that to be true. I’m always always always remembering situations (my life I feel and all of my encounters with everyone) in great, minute detail and will try and glimpse into the lives of my previous relationships and their girlfriends and make some kind of comparison to my own life. It’s super unhealthy I know but it’s almost become a habit. I’ll imagine their lives and wonder what they’re doing as though I know them but I’m trapped in the moment of when I experienced heartbreak for the first time let’s say?
I do this and I daydream and sleep excessively when I’m
or bored but I think my life is going past me way too quickly and I’m trying to recapture the past which isn’t possible.
