Post by spiral on Apr 15, 2019 4:52:20 GMT
I found this site looking for cures for MD.
I've reached an absolute breaking point with my daydreaming, to the point where I'm genuinely considering suicide. I've had it for as long as I can remember, I can't control it, and it's finally fully completely ruining my life. I have absolutely ZERO friends in real life because I just daydream all day; during conversations my mind unintentionally wanders and makes things awkward because I can't focus on what's being said despite trying. I can only deal with texting online friends, and reply to them in between daydreams.
I thought I was just weird, that I had to run around my room from wall to wall (Ive worn down the paint and have an ugly calloused hand from doing this for literal years) while completely immersed in daydreaming. It's embarrassing- no one knows. I used to tell my mom I just practiced karate with the walls, and that I was exercising. It's never about me as I am, any daydream with me in it makes me disgusted. I usually take the place of a character in a movie or show, but see them from a 3rd person POV.
I didn't realize how much of a problem it was until I had to do the practice for my nursing major and realized I had unintentionally daydreamt through all the lessons and couldn't perform the tasks that were required of me because I hadn't memorized them thoroughly- it made me so ashamed that I literally changed my major to computer programming just because I could look up code online if I forgot it and wouldn't embarrass myself. I still can't believe I basically changed my entire career because of this. But a spaced-out nurse is beyond dangerous and I am very much aware of that.
Learning that there's no cure or medication for this condition has just crushed me more than I can put to words. It really feels like all hope is just out the window.
[Pic is of the ugly calloused hand from rubbing up against the wall while daydreaming for years. You can see part of the wall that I've worn down 3 layers of paint from (recent seagreen that I used to cover it up like 2 months ago, cream, and white under all. That gray is from dirtying it with my hand.)]
I've reached an absolute breaking point with my daydreaming, to the point where I'm genuinely considering suicide. I've had it for as long as I can remember, I can't control it, and it's finally fully completely ruining my life. I have absolutely ZERO friends in real life because I just daydream all day; during conversations my mind unintentionally wanders and makes things awkward because I can't focus on what's being said despite trying. I can only deal with texting online friends, and reply to them in between daydreams.
I thought I was just weird, that I had to run around my room from wall to wall (Ive worn down the paint and have an ugly calloused hand from doing this for literal years) while completely immersed in daydreaming. It's embarrassing- no one knows. I used to tell my mom I just practiced karate with the walls, and that I was exercising. It's never about me as I am, any daydream with me in it makes me disgusted. I usually take the place of a character in a movie or show, but see them from a 3rd person POV.
I didn't realize how much of a problem it was until I had to do the practice for my nursing major and realized I had unintentionally daydreamt through all the lessons and couldn't perform the tasks that were required of me because I hadn't memorized them thoroughly- it made me so ashamed that I literally changed my major to computer programming just because I could look up code online if I forgot it and wouldn't embarrass myself. I still can't believe I basically changed my entire career because of this. But a spaced-out nurse is beyond dangerous and I am very much aware of that.
Learning that there's no cure or medication for this condition has just crushed me more than I can put to words. It really feels like all hope is just out the window.
[Pic is of the ugly calloused hand from rubbing up against the wall while daydreaming for years. You can see part of the wall that I've worn down 3 layers of paint from (recent seagreen that I used to cover it up like 2 months ago, cream, and white under all. That gray is from dirtying it with my hand.)]
