Post by fellowmder on May 2, 2019 10:25:32 GMT
So, i will tell this as a story. if anyone is interested continue to read..
I were taking my drawing classes for an upcoming entrance examination. suddenly everyone started rushing through the corridors. they all started talking that our high school grades had come over the internet. i wasn't able to draw anything for the next two hours.
I weren't in a position to check my marks. My phone was dead and i didn't remember my application number. i was so numb at that moment. i were only able to recall all that madness i did back in school, all that effing daydreaming. i so damn wanted to cry for wasting away my time.i literally felt on edge. i was sure i was going to fail one of my exams.it was so frustrating that i left for home early. At that moment, to be frank i didn't keep up any expectations. i mean, by no expectations - nothing, seriously nothing. i told myself that i would hardly care whether i pass or fail. so, my first question- considering my situation where two years back(before MDing grew in my life) i would yearn to get full marks, now standing in this position where i expect nothing at all from myself; hAS ThIS EVER hAPPENED TO YOU?
STORY CONTINUES....
because it were frustrating, during my entire ride back home i recklessly daydreamed. When i reached home, my brother had already checked my result and sent it to my mom and dad.
I got 88 %. to be frank, i don't know if it is less or fine or good. my friend called me just at that time. she got a 90 and another one got 94 (she got full marks in 2 subs- it was practically her dream). Still, i just feel mixed emotions. my brother says that i shall be spanked by my mom. i mean half of this result will justify the college i would get into. Yet these marks to me aren't frustrating and just seem meaningless. have anyone of you felt the loss of reason like me? Like not realizing whether it is important to you or not?
i don't know why i never had or is having any strong reason to do anything. anything that is killing me on the inside is the loss of reason to live. has anyone felt it?
I were taking my drawing classes for an upcoming entrance examination. suddenly everyone started rushing through the corridors. they all started talking that our high school grades had come over the internet. i wasn't able to draw anything for the next two hours.
I weren't in a position to check my marks. My phone was dead and i didn't remember my application number. i was so numb at that moment. i were only able to recall all that madness i did back in school, all that effing daydreaming. i so damn wanted to cry for wasting away my time.i literally felt on edge. i was sure i was going to fail one of my exams.it was so frustrating that i left for home early. At that moment, to be frank i didn't keep up any expectations. i mean, by no expectations - nothing, seriously nothing. i told myself that i would hardly care whether i pass or fail. so, my first question- considering my situation where two years back(before MDing grew in my life) i would yearn to get full marks, now standing in this position where i expect nothing at all from myself; hAS ThIS EVER hAPPENED TO YOU?
STORY CONTINUES....
because it were frustrating, during my entire ride back home i recklessly daydreamed. When i reached home, my brother had already checked my result and sent it to my mom and dad.
I got 88 %. to be frank, i don't know if it is less or fine or good. my friend called me just at that time. she got a 90 and another one got 94 (she got full marks in 2 subs- it was practically her dream). Still, i just feel mixed emotions. my brother says that i shall be spanked by my mom. i mean half of this result will justify the college i would get into. Yet these marks to me aren't frustrating and just seem meaningless. have anyone of you felt the loss of reason like me? Like not realizing whether it is important to you or not?
i don't know why i never had or is having any strong reason to do anything. anything that is killing me on the inside is the loss of reason to live. has anyone felt it?
