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Post by Wynn on Jun 6, 2019 20:51:12 GMT
Has anyone else ever had dd's go in a direction you don't like but go anyway, like a break up, a fight or a death? Does it mean anything?
For example, one of my characters was in a dream relationship but I felt like it had to end and she (and I) are still torn up over it months later. Another character was stranded with strangers away from home and only wanted to go back home for the entire story, but by the time she got to go home a year or so later she'd bonded to the crew who rescued her and was torn about going home to her family.
I'm curious what these themes might mean!
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Post by Sam on Jun 6, 2019 21:20:09 GMT
Are there any similarities between your real life situations and your daydream themes?
Personally, I think that a part of the reason why I've been so emotionally invested in my daydreams is because its a kind of, subset, I guess, of the ruminating I do from my anxiety. For example, if I'm expecting to feel a hurt in a real life friendship, I often end up daydreaming one of my characters receiving the same kind of hurt from one of their friends. Truthfully, it does nothing to help me, because things rarely turn out the way I think they will, but daydreaming like that is similar to what a lot of people with anxiety experience with ruminating thoughts. Its like they have to "prepare" for every possible scenario (though it usually just makes them more anxious and does nothing to actually prepare them), and for me, daydreaming is just a way of further trying to prepare myself (because I feel the emotional hurt that my characters feel, which I think is more intense than just imagining the way a conversation might pan out).
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Post by jiaoren on Jun 7, 2019 5:26:16 GMT
Yeah, I get you. There have been many, many deaths and breakups and revealed horrifying backstories that I didn't want happening, what happened anyway. So I kinda try to reverse them... it's hard to explain. For example, there was that one DD where my "adopter" and I had a fallout, which I didn't like, so I put myself in an age reverser machine and started as a newborn growing twice the pace of a regular human being. It sounds stupid, but hey. It worked.
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Post by Wynn on Jun 7, 2019 17:43:31 GMT
Are there any similarities between your real life situations and your daydream themes? Personally, I think that a part of the reason why I've been so emotionally invested in my daydreams is because its a kind of, subset, I guess, of the ruminating I do from my anxiety. For example, if I'm expecting to feel a hurt in a real life friendship, I often end up daydreaming one of my characters receiving the same kind of hurt from one of their friends. Truthfully, it does nothing to help me, because things rarely turn out the way I think they will, but daydreaming like that is similar to what a lot of people with anxiety experience with ruminating thoughts. Its like they have to "prepare" for every possible scenario (though it usually just makes them more anxious and does nothing to actually prepare them), and for me, daydreaming is just a way of further trying to prepare myself (because I feel the emotional hurt that my characters feel, which I think is more intense than just imagining the way a conversation might pan out). Yes, I think so. Most of mine have orphan / neglected themes and finding someone to care for me and I think that's definitely similar to what I feel in my RL. What you said about ruminating and anxiety strikes true, as well. I've been meaning to journal "where" and to who I go and what is happening in my RL to correlate the two but I haven't done it yet. It kind of feels too like I know whatever anxiety inducing things I have going on in my RL I know that I have a safe place to go to hold me until things resolve or blow over. I also feel the emotional hurt my character's feel, but maybe not to the degree I feel the RL stuff. I think it's more of a filter for me to strain the RL stuff through so that it's not so overwhelming. I hope that makes sense! I meant to add the dd breakup may have coincided when my husband began approaching recovery. I don't know if the dd relationship felt like cheating? But I've sense revived an older dd relationship and she's working through the trauma of *her* previous relationship, so I guess  about it, it could be my coming to terms that my relationship with my husband wasn't what I thought it was, and it had died, and the new relationship between us in recovery was my new reality. |
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Post by Wynn on Jun 7, 2019 17:44:16 GMT
Yeah, I get you. There have been many, many deaths and breakups and revealed horrifying backstories that I didn't want happening, what happened anyway. So I kinda try to reverse them... it's hard to explain. For example, there was that one DD where my "adopter" and I had a fallout, which I didn't like, so I put myself in an age reverser machine and started as a newborn growing twice the pace of a regular human being. It sounds stupid, but hey. It worked. I don't think it's stupid at all, and as the saying goes, if it works it's not stupid! |
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about it, it could be my coming to terms that my relationship with my husband wasn't what I thought it was, and it had died, and the new relationship between us in recovery was my new reality.