Post by fellowmder on Jul 11, 2019 17:49:57 GMT
i just wanted to talk so.....this has no particular topic as i couldn't pinpoint to any but i can assure you it were something related to Madd.
So i suddenly ended at one of my friend's house. It was her and one of my other friend, the only people who could stick with me for the past 7 years with such an uncertain and fickle me. you guys should understand what i am saying. So, one of them is going to some other state for college and today was like the last day of hers. and apparently i were meeting them in person after like 6 months to a year. i literally thought i were just a burden to their good to go party. as an introvert i weren't much open to anything- i were experiencing meeting people after a huge gap of two to three years. i, for some unknown reason felt so suffocated and so much like crying out-like i am still crying after coming since hours. i tried to liberate it by daydreaming but i am back on square one i just wanted to open up to them, talk it out. Meeting them, there were so many instances where i literally felt like i were daydreaming-it was both too good to come true and pathetic as shit as i realized how it felt being estrange all my life- no friends i felt knew me. i were coming and going out of this daydreaming mode. sometimes it felt like reality, sometimes it just felt one of my daydreams.
for some good reason, guys i just cannot stop crying. i just feel really depressed. all these years i have been telling myself that what i feel or think is just damn bullshit, and that i am taking these emotions just damn too strongly without any reason. that there are people who must have gone through worse than me. everyone does. then why did i just run away from things? why did i had to fall in this trap of mdd? and if it had to be nothing then why does it hurt so much for no so particular reason?
thanks for reading
So i suddenly ended at one of my friend's house. It was her and one of my other friend, the only people who could stick with me for the past 7 years with such an uncertain and fickle me. you guys should understand what i am saying. So, one of them is going to some other state for college and today was like the last day of hers. and apparently i were meeting them in person after like 6 months to a year. i literally thought i were just a burden to their good to go party. as an introvert i weren't much open to anything- i were experiencing meeting people after a huge gap of two to three years. i, for some unknown reason felt so suffocated and so much like crying out-like i am still crying after coming since hours. i tried to liberate it by daydreaming but i am back on square one i just wanted to open up to them, talk it out. Meeting them, there were so many instances where i literally felt like i were daydreaming-it was both too good to come true and pathetic as shit as i realized how it felt being estrange all my life- no friends i felt knew me. i were coming and going out of this daydreaming mode. sometimes it felt like reality, sometimes it just felt one of my daydreams.
for some good reason, guys i just cannot stop crying. i just feel really depressed. all these years i have been telling myself that what i feel or think is just damn bullshit, and that i am taking these emotions just damn too strongly without any reason. that there are people who must have gone through worse than me. everyone does. then why did i just run away from things? why did i had to fall in this trap of mdd? and if it had to be nothing then why does it hurt so much for no so particular reason?
thanks for reading
