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Post by formerlee on Feb 26, 2020 21:28:19 GMT
I have “daydreamed” since I was a child. I believe for me it is an escape mechanism as I’ve had depression and anxiety since I was a child as well. I’ve been able to succeed in school and life but it is something that still affects me and wastes a lot of time and energy. Even so I have accepted that I can control it when I have to/want to but it’s not going away. Recently I’ve noticed it in my 13 yo son. I have 4 kids, he’s the youngest. They were all homeschooled until high school age so the others are gone now most to all of the day. My son does go into school for math, band, choir and sports and will be going for many more hours next school year. But since he and I are the only ones home for most of the day, I have observed him/caught him in the act frequently in the last few months. He can be a pacer and he’s verbal. I rarely vocalize but I do move my mouth to talk to the other people in my dream. I do this only when alone. I guess my question is should I be concerned about my son? I know he has some anxiety issues but he is doing well in school and community activities. He does have a couple of close friends but prefers to be alone. This is something I have never told my husband I do. I think he would believe I and my son were crazy so I have no intention of discussing this with him. Is this something I should discuss with my son? Let him know I’ve noticed his behavior and that I do it too but most people don’t so he should be more discreet about it? I’m really at a loss for what to do.
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Post by Sam on Feb 26, 2020 22:34:53 GMT
I responded to your other post, recommending that you maybe should work on whatever his cause for daydreaming is rather than on the daydreaming itself if you don't feel comfortable talking with other people. It's up to you whether you want to talk to just your son about it, but given the shame that so frequently surrounds MD, it might just make him hide it from you better. It sounds like his cause might be anxiety. While daydreaming itself is a perfectly okay coping mechanism for something like anxiety, when it gets to be maladaptive, it can sometimes do more harm than good.
I'm not saying that you accepting your MD as a coping mechanism is wrong. I just mean that there are other, healthier coping skills for anxiety out there, and since your son is so young and the use of daydreaming as a coping mechanism isn't as ingrained into his psyche as it is for you, it might be worth it to make sure he has other coping skills to rely on so that MD doesn't become a lifelong issue for him.
I also use MD as a coping mechanism for my severe anxiety, and I honestly would be in a much better position now if I'd applied all of the healthy coping skills I was taught in therapy rather than relying on daydreaming. Because now I'm trying to switch over to those healthy coping skills, it's incredibly difficult because I've spent so many years using daydreaming as a coping mechanism. So I know from personal experience that applying those healthy coping skills the earlier, the better. The sooner you catch maladaptive behaviors, the easier it is to fix them and replace them with healthier ones.
Exercising and deep breathing are two coping skills that are the most frequently useful/recommended.
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