I have been about this for a couple days. Growing up, my family would often come up with pass around stories. We would each make a part and then allow the story to move onto someone else. I was that maybe we can use this as a bridge between reality and daydreams. We can create anything we want in our writing, but our universe would be altered while we are away by other people in the real world. I'm hoping other people join this. Also, it doesn't have to be the only group story. I was hoping I can set up a thread we can make new threads in for new stories, but I don't know how to set one like that up. For now, I'll start one here, and I hope someone else would add.
Chapter 1 Samantha
(Italics) I couldn't touch him back. He tapped my arm as he left and I couldn't touch him back. I just wasn't that person. I guess that would be hard for you to believe, because since you've been possessing me you've only seen my daydreams, and in my daydreams I've slept with him. In my daydreams I've had families with him. I've felt his touch a thousand times. You've felt me tremble as he made love to me the first time dozens of times, and in many universes the trembling returns every subsequent time because I'm just too nervous around him, but now that we're able to talk, you must understand that that was all in my mind.
I don't have that kind of relationship with him. I can't touch him, can barely talk to him, hardly see him anymore, he might have a girlfriend, and I will never see or hear from him ever again in the next two years after we both graduate from college. I'm sorry; you must have thought you've finally found a happy host, but I can fake it all day. I can fake it so much it's like I feel it. I would love it to be real, but it's not.
(Plain text) She stood by the opened window. The cold wind blew in and snow flakes bedazzled her face. She imagined a beautiful girl in such a scene. How one look to her would fill one's heart with sympathy. They would see a girl. Then she thought of how she must look. When she rested her face on her hand, the fat was squished, her cheek squished up near her eye. Also, she leaned too far. She was a large, massive, slouching heap hanging over itself onto the window. Although she knew she was not excessively fat, it still upset her immensely. It was hard to find beauty in the mirror, but she knew if at least she weren't fat it would be easier. It didn't help that she just seemed out of proportion. Her stomach and upper legs just seemed much bigger with fat than the rest of her. Sometimes she thought she must look pregnant. And it was certainly shameful to have such a big bundle of stomach fat that she might look pregnant. "Enough fat there to be a full baby, with bones and developing tissues and stuff," she would think, "that's how much, and that's just there!" She felt deep down that nobody would really see her for the real her, she can never be towards another person as broken as she was inside. Ugly people had to be tolerable people too, she believed, otherwise they are completely disgusting.
Still, she imagined him being that one guy who would accept her for the mess she was, and see her not as disgusting but as worth being there to support. She imagined her happiness meaning a lot to him. She imagined his willingness to stay through all the bad and be supportive, but also his sincere happiness for the times she was confident and able.
No matter how happy the things she thought were, they were only thoughts. And she'd desperately daydream about him, longing for real fulfillment, but always going back to the harsh truth that she did not really have him, and she did not have a way to have him. No matter how good the daydream was, she couldn't help but to throw it away and switch to another one with him. It was just too unreal to hold on to, and at least in many daydreams there is a greater chance that at least some amount of them provide insight into something or some way that might someday be real. She knew it wouldn't work that way though. She knew, but couldn't stop herself.
Post by legendarydarkknight on Mar 23, 2020 14:25:16 GMT
I don't know what's better, really; the idea or the the narration of your story. I'd seen the thread a few hours after you'd opened it; and I reeally like the idea. I just couldn't figure out what to write over it and, honestly, I once again had that sickness of 'I HAVE TO WRITE SOMETHING REALLY GOOD SO THE PEOPLE WILL BE IMPRESSED'. So I put off writing something like that for a long time. It's not exactly what you meant in the description, but I think with everyone writing stuff in their own accord this can really be a refreshing idea and thread. This passage isn't like a continuation of yours, but my own thoughts and a glimpse of what I usually daydream into. I'd also like to see such passages from more people, so we can really get closer to understand one another and the worlds of the people who have this condition.
Alright... Here goes nothing.
Chapter 2 Nick He wasn't seen. He couldn't be seen. Years of being invisible to people had finally worth a damn after all. The men were still speaking about stupid crap. Women, sex, money... He had a brief moment of stall as his mind swang to the stuff he probably SHOULD had been thınkıng about. Getting laid, maybe with someone he could truly bond with. Being actually together with someone. Having some more money, perhaps? He shook those silly thoughts off his head; he had never properly thought or acted on about any of these up to this point, and he obviously wasn't and couldn't intent on doing so at this particular moment. He had a job to do: People to protect? Maybe. But he was there not to prevent something that could happen again. He was there because something had happened. Someone he loved was hurt. He brought her face on his damn mind when he saw her in the ICU. One person that could understand him despite knowing all. Feeling tears starting to form in his eyes, he brushed off what he saw and prepare to jump the bastards. 3 to 1. With the element of surprise and his swords, he'd have no prob taking them all on. What bothered him truly was what's next. Fighting was one thing. Moving forward was another. He had to be on the right track. He had to solve the case on his own. He checked his mask and prepared to draw the wooden sword on his hand. That was gonna be a rough landing...
He swang the TV remote in his hand around. His hand-movement was subtle and suppressed. Definitely not what it'd be with a sword, but he thought he was so familiar with such movements, he could pull some good crap off IF he was given chance. Realizing that he'd been carried away just a few moments later, he stopped pacing around and put the remote away. That feeling of guilt had finally once again settled in: He didn't like to having to avenge the people he loved. He didn't want them to be hospitalized for the slightest bit of things, let alone a place as ICU. But he did like them. He loved having those daydreams, and he felt it. Otherwise, he'd have no reason to keep up with similar scenarios for years with changing faces. Still, it was better than picturing the people he loved suffer horribly in his own mind; so, the guilt didn't last long either. The warmth he had felt a couple of days ago was gone. Perished, in his prison. Once again at the clutches of his intrusive thoughts, he could seek shelter on the only things he could possibly protect his sanity from his own mind: Video games and daydreams. The very sources of those thoughts.
Last Edit: Mar 23, 2020 14:44:08 GMT by legendarydarkknight: Omitten a private line, might confess or re-add later
I am so glad you posted something. I'm not going to add another part of the story here since I'm trying to give it a week between anything I add to be sure other people post while it's still short, because long things can be intimidating sometimes.
I really encourage anyone to share in any way they want. They're characters don't have to be MDers if they don't want them to be, their characters don't have to be them. It's all still what's in their minds.
It would be nice if at some point our distinct worlds start mixing (we don't have to try to force it, it would probably happen at it's own time). Then we would really have to get used to these written worlds not being entirely in our control. I've read lots of people here have daydreams in fanfiction, where they use pre-established characters from shows or movies and make adventures for them. Here, there would be lots of pre-established characters. However, I think it's a good idea to make this one rule now.
Please add a claim list at the end of a post if you'd like to, listing any characters you create that you don't want anybody else to directly use. We can put claims on and take claims off of our own characters whenever we choose, and if someone wants to use someone else's claimed character they must ask. For now, I don't think I'll need to add a rule about indirect use of claimed characters of others (ie.one character sees claimed character doing something already mentioned by claimer, other characters talk about claimed character, etc.). I'm hoping we would be fine without a rule for that, but we'll see where this goes. I'm really hoping more people post.
Ok, I was really hoping more people will post, but since nobody is I might as well keep writing here. Somebody else would eventually add something more to this, even if it's long. So, here it goes.
Chapter 3 Brother Paul's Journal, Page 367
Day 50 on the run
It is hard to believe I've now been hiding from my temple for 50 days. Living in a cave has become natural for me, a scenario I could have never imagined possible a couple months ago. I have seen through Malinda's crystal ball that she has formed communication with her host. She's been able to talk to her for a few days now, but I have not been watching her through the ball very often lately so I only discovered this today. I am genuinely happy for her.
Looking back at my life before, there were countless things I have taken for granted. Beds, architecture, beauty. Most of all though, I miss the friendship of my brothers and sisters of the Temple of Clarity. That feeling of belonging with others who truly understand that feeling of the spirit dying to be dedicated to the Lord. We all craved that Lordly presence. Had I never learned the truth of Malinda, I would still be there with my brothers and sisters.
I know there was no other choice I could have made. My soul knew the truth. My soul knew she was no demon. To this day I don't know what she is, but she is good. She is no angel, no demon, no person, no animal; but she is a creature of God, and must be cared for.
Millenias, trapped in that ball, in darkness, mistaken for a demon; I was the only one ever appointed to guard the Chamber of Evil to really know her. The Lord would have never let my soul see her good nature had she been wicked. I knew there will be no other; I could not trust there will be another. The test was mine. I was the one who He let discover she was good. I was bound to leave her to torment or rescue her myself. I could not do the first.
I will not take my actions back if given the chance. I KNOW I made the right choice. Malinda is in a better place now, and if I have to live in a cave to ensure her freedom, I will gladly for the rest of my life.
My one regret, the one thing I know I did wrong, was leave Brother George behind. The young man was like a son to me, and I left him to become my enemy. I should have had more faith in his trust in me and his sense of right and wrong, but I was acting out of fear and left him lost there, forever believing the lie. My Lord, forgive me for this. Protect my brothers and sisters who are ignorant. They never meant to do any of your creatures harm.
(Italics) So here I am again, Malinda. I'm always going to be like this. I shouldn't have these feelings. This new guy--why? What is wrong with me. Do I only have physical desires? Was I born to be a prostitute? I hate my brain, I hate my mind, I hate not knowing if I even can really love anyone in the world. I want to love. I want to be a wonderful person. I know I never did any of this stuff that I think about, that to most people I'm a pretty reserved person. To that guy from college a couple months ago that's what I was to him. But this guy, this guy knows it all and still cares about me. Why do I always have to imagine him the way I do? Why can't I stick to friend daydreams? Why is real life never as wonderful as how things are in my mind? I'm sorry for you. You should have had a good host with a clear mind, not this mess I am. I wish I could be more. Wish I could be the me I feel in my heart I was meant to be. Why am I going so numb?
(Italics) Deep within you, Samantha, there is beauty. There is a safe place that he, your family, and everybody else cannot shatter. I can feel the months of turmoil with you, I've seen your struggles. I've felt them with you. You've come a long way since that time long ago, when you were first torn up about your feelings for this guy. And I can see all the broken peices within you. I know how you feel more ready to give up on yourself than ever before. I know how confused you are. And I recognize it.
You have never hurt me though. I know what you're . Through you I only grow. When I feel your feelings with you, be them pain or triumph, I experience. I grow more emotionally intelligent. Nothing I share with you can hurt me. Do not worry about our shared time ever causing me harm. Your emotions are whole and true, and though you fear they aren't, they truly are.
You love him. I know. But you forgot how to love. You don't know which feelings could be love. But when he's in a bad situation, you hurt. You quickly fear and wish you hadn't pushed him. Do you not see the significance in that?
Yes, fear isn't love. You can say perhaps you only fear your future slipping away. And I know it's true you'd rather he be happy with you but you'd rather he be happy without you than miserable, or worse, gone. You can't stand if he wastes his life.
I think eventually you need to tell him. He will listen in time. I know you fear it will never work. Hold on. Please don't lose faith it can be fixed. You want to quit. You are hurting. You want me to make you stop feeling toward him the way you do. "There must be some correction?", you feel. But it will be ok.
Let us venture deep into your soul. Here is the safe place now. Nothing can harm it--And no, it is not barren of emotions. Lie down, take some rest, breathe deeply.
You know, he is like you. You know that, in more ways than one. As humans though, or even beings, we are all connected. Wouldn't it be nice to tell him sometimes that you feel at peace? Wouldn't you like to feel at peace? I will put a message in the purple bubble well here, and your soul will keep it safe until it echoes out later. I know it's what you've been , but it's time to hold it in the center of yourself.
You are beautiful, intelligent, brave, kind, desirable. You made him love you, and that bond can never be broken. Perhaps you will never be lovers, but you won't break apart. Just because you do not know how right now, doesn't mean it will all crash down to nothing. You can do it. You will not always be alone. You will not let this one break. You will fix this because you are capable. And you won't have to do it alone because you are worth it. He loves you too, he just doesn't know it yet.
You are so ashamed of that thought. You fear he doesn't care about you. You fear when his emotions change he really can't give a damn. You fear.
But you two have only known each other less than a year. You have more control over the matter than you think. I will help you, however I can, to tap into your inner light. It is your motivation and peace. Through it, you will hone your safe place. But you must not stop believing. I know it seems impossible right now. Reality is begging you to give up. Do not. Hold on. Dream big. Drown out the down talks, distractions, demotivation. Hear the aura of that song you love, "You're sure to do impossible things, if you follow you heart." And remember, the true place your heart is going is not a person, it is going to peace.
Samantha, you are loved. Someday, hopefully, you will see not just by me. But I love you.