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Hey
Apr 1, 2020 0:05:56 GMT
alvi likes this
Post by amber on Apr 1, 2020 0:05:56 GMT
It's so nice to know that there's a name for what I suffer from. Since I was a teenager, I've struggled with daydreams about romance that seem to have taken over my life. I'm talking about more than the usual daydream. In middle school I fared well and was near the top of my class. But when puberty hit me I started finding boys attractive and girls pretty, and I could think about that pretty senior when I was a freshman and I could avoid math class, history class, and chores. My daydreams are sometimes of a bisexual nature. I stopped getting A's and started getting D's. I dropped out of the International Baccaukeriate program. I thought maybe I would do better in college but I couldn't concentrate due to the extensive nature of my daydreams, so I only graduated from school because of group projects. I also used to dream of this chick who was an environmental justice warrior. If I was her, I would suddenly become confident. In real life, I was pretty passive and conservative but I got to dream of being her and of being outspoken and liberal. I would daydream about male hockey players. My daydreams tend to be triggered by Jane Austen and romantic comedies.
I've only had one low-paying job in the several years since I graduated from college, because I graduated with no skills due to how much cheating I did due to my maladaptive daydreaming. It was a job answering phones, which I was able to do because I couldn't daydream due to the phone constantly ringing. , which I lost when the company shut down. When we got laid off an acquintance from there started contacting me via Facebook. We agreed to meet for coffee and I went because I was bored, unemployed, and had nothing to do. This turned into a relationship, but the making out didn't match up to what I had imagined when I saw in the rom-coms. It was a brief relationship during which I was sexually unsatisfied. He however was in love with me. He was like one of the men from Jane Austen's works, hard-working and gentlemanly; but I was sexually unsatisfied. I hated being touched by him.None of the romance and sex matched up to what I had imagined as my dreams as a teen or young adult. I broke up with him in a brutal manner. But then the daydreaming started, and all of a sudden he was a much better lover than he was in real life--much less nice guy, and much more Phantom of the Opera. And these fantasies affect my ability to do chores, look for jobs, and put my dishes in the sink.
It's an addiction of sorts. I hate it and I simultaneously love it. I never succeeded in school beyond primary and I'm failing to launch into adulthood because of it. I'm nearly 30 and I've only had one job answering phones for a year. I can't see myself studying or gaining any useful life skills because of this daydreaming. In a way, I feel like I use daydreaming to escape the less pleasant parts of adulthood. But it's so hard to stop, my God it's so hard.
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Apr 1, 2020 17:25:54 GMT
Post by Sam on Apr 1, 2020 17:25:54 GMT
Welcome to the forum!
Your experience of simultaneously hating and loving your daydreams is common among MDers. I hope that we can help you bring some more balance into your life.
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Hey
Apr 1, 2020 20:56:00 GMT
Post by alvi on Apr 1, 2020 20:56:00 GMT
Welcome to the forum Amber.
Your story will resonate with many of us here who have missed out on a lot due to daydreaming. Hopefully you will find some advice or support on this forum to help lesson the impact it is having on your life.
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