Post by yasmine on Apr 2, 2020 20:13:50 GMT
Hey everybody, I hope you kind of remember me but i will summarize things about me just in case.
I have been suffering from md since i was 8, and am diagnosed with dysthymia. I have had quite a difficult childhood and even tho my life is so much better now i still dont seem to be able to face reality.
Anyway i have been posting here in the past and it seemed like I was doing good, trying to find hobbies and all that. but honestly, the last few months have been so hard on me and i just feel myself slipping away again. As I have told earlier all my friends turned on me out of nowhere in october and even if we talked it out and all that, we are no longer friends but just classmates. I have had no one to talk to who wasnt obligated by family bonds since october, and i have been sitting alone during schoolbreakes for months.
when my older sister (who goes to the same school) caught on and went to my mom with it I just explained that I had pushed my friends away because I wanted to focus on school. But its just all a lie, and the worst thing is that i have been trying to convince myself that it was the truth ever since.
And now with the social distancing.. I just cant take it anymore. I am just sleeping and daydreaming all day, and I am even reading books and listening to music to fuel it even more. I dont even go upstairs to the living room anymore, and only go to the kitchen once or twice a day to get something to eat. My parents dont seem to be catching on that this is going on and I am not planning on making them worry about me again. they just think that I am just working on school all day, and social distance myself from them as my imune system is really bad. But i just cant handle this lonelyness anymore. And seeing how my ex friends talk in the junior/senior school groupchats about how they videochatted with each other or held a virtual movie night without
of inviting me just hurts me more.
I want to stop going down this rabit hole but in my daydreams I am so happy, or at least distracted from the reality. I just feel so lost. And honestly it feels just so relieving to type all this down and sending it into the world.
I have been suffering from md since i was 8, and am diagnosed with dysthymia. I have had quite a difficult childhood and even tho my life is so much better now i still dont seem to be able to face reality.
Anyway i have been posting here in the past and it seemed like I was doing good, trying to find hobbies and all that. but honestly, the last few months have been so hard on me and i just feel myself slipping away again. As I have told earlier all my friends turned on me out of nowhere in october and even if we talked it out and all that, we are no longer friends but just classmates. I have had no one to talk to who wasnt obligated by family bonds since october, and i have been sitting alone during schoolbreakes for months.
when my older sister (who goes to the same school) caught on and went to my mom with it I just explained that I had pushed my friends away because I wanted to focus on school. But its just all a lie, and the worst thing is that i have been trying to convince myself that it was the truth ever since.
And now with the social distancing.. I just cant take it anymore. I am just sleeping and daydreaming all day, and I am even reading books and listening to music to fuel it even more. I dont even go upstairs to the living room anymore, and only go to the kitchen once or twice a day to get something to eat. My parents dont seem to be catching on that this is going on and I am not planning on making them worry about me again. they just think that I am just working on school all day, and social distance myself from them as my imune system is really bad. But i just cant handle this lonelyness anymore. And seeing how my ex friends talk in the junior/senior school groupchats about how they videochatted with each other or held a virtual movie night without
of inviting me just hurts me more. I want to stop going down this rabit hole but in my daydreams I am so happy, or at least distracted from the reality. I just feel so lost. And honestly it feels just so relieving to type all this down and sending it into the world.
