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Post by thecultist on Apr 3, 2020 18:11:51 GMT
I have been daydreaming ever since I can remember, but at age 15 years , daydreaming turned maladaptive because it had started replacing the other important things in my life, I had totally cut my social life and personal development. I had big plans for my career and life but MD was ruining it. I would have book in my hands for hours but I would be MDing the whole time. I managed to live with it somehow performing average and always being  about the whole situation  it will be over once I get into adult life. Then I got a mediocre job and I learnt to MD at my office too. But I was obviously not satisfied with my progress in real life so I left my job and got back to studies and again I had to suffer failure because of MD. This time I was very hurt and really shaken to the core and decided to get rid of MD forever. And within several months I really got rid of it.(I can share how I did that if you want to know) And now after almost a year without MD, what I feel is "Absence of MD hasn't made me any successful like I thought it would do instead I only feel miserable". I feel the joy I used to experience, even out of MD world, is no more. For a year I told myself MD is an addiction just like any other addiction and when you quit there are withdrawal symptoms so perpetual sadness is okay let it be there it'll go away with time. But now one year has passed, I can't feel that immersion even if I choose to. So I want to go back but I am not able to. What do you guys think??? |
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Post by Sam on Apr 3, 2020 19:36:27 GMT
Did you cut out daydreaming completely, or just the maladaptive portion? Because the former is likely to cause issues, as daydreaming is a natural and necessary function. Additionally, if you were using MD as a coping method, potentially for depression, if you get rid of MD but don't add any other more helpful coping methods in, whatever you were using MD as a coping method for is likely to take over.
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Post by thecultist on Apr 4, 2020 8:21:29 GMT
The main reason of why MD is so addictive is the intense feelings one feels through different characters and the stirring plotlines. The thing is, I observed that in my real life some of the stories, in bits, both positive and negative of my MD have been coming true. And literally due to unavoidable circumstances I had to go through the exact painful shit in my real life that I dreamed about one of the MD characters. This is why I am scared of daydreaming about artistic, touching but stories. I figured if this is the case then I can use it for my advantage. Means if I really can make things come true in my life just by imagining about them why not dream only positive stories. I tried dding about only success and love, but I can't. Earlier when I used to MD it used to be compulsive, there was no way I could stop it ; it simply happened I didn't even need to research I'd know automatically how people in a certain setting would behave; imagination would just flow. But now dreaming only about positive things and only in first person, it's too effortful and pleasureless that I prefer to not dd at all. I have no doubt about MD was indeed a coping method. Please tell what are other coping methods that can replace MD. |
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Post by Sam on Apr 6, 2020 15:47:58 GMT
The main reason of why MD is so addictive is the intense feelings one feels through different characters and the stirring plotlines. The thing is, I observed that in my real life some of the stories, in bits, both positive and negative of my MD have been coming true. And literally due to unavoidable circumstances I had to go through the exact painful shit in my real life that I dreamed about one of the MD characters. This is why I am scared of daydreaming about artistic, touching but sad stories. I figured if this is the case then I can use it for my advantage. Means if I really can make things come true in my life just by imagining about them why not dream only positive stories. I tried dding about only success and love, but I can't. Earlier when I used to MD it used to be compulsive, there was no way I could stop it ; it simply happened I didn't even need to research I'd know automatically how people in a certain setting would behave; imagination would just flow. But now dreaming only about positive things and only in first person, it's too effortful and pleasureless that I prefer to not dd at all. I have no doubt about MD was indeed a coping method. Please tell what are other coping methods that can replace MD. Exercise is a big one, as it releases some of the same feel-good endorphins that MD does. Other ones that I've found personally helpful are mindfulness and journaling. |
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Post by someone on Apr 17, 2020 3:12:19 GMT
The main reason of why MD is so addictive is the intense feelings one feels through different characters and the stirring plotlines. The thing is, I observed that in my real life some of the stories, in bits, both positive and negative of my MD have been coming true. And literally due to unavoidable circumstances I had to go through the exact painful shit in my real life that I dreamed about one of the MD characters. This is why I am scared of daydreaming about artistic, touching but stories. I figured if this is the case then I can use it for my advantage. Means if I really can make things come true in my life just by imagining about them why not dream only positive stories. I tried dding about only success and love, but I can't. Earlier when I used to MD it used to be compulsive, there was no way I could stop it ; it simply happened I didn't even need to research I'd know automatically how people in a certain setting would behave; imagination would just flow. But now dreaming only about positive things and only in first person, it's too effortful and pleasureless that I prefer to not dd at all. I have no doubt about MD was indeed a coping method. Please tell what are other coping methods that can replace MD. I think like Sam said, some daydreaming is good for you. You shouldn't be scared storylines would come true, nor should you feel obligated to daydream about first person happy things to make them come true. The thing is, some crazy coincidences happen, but things can't come true simply because you daydream about it. If you really want to enjoy those storylines again, it might take some effort to start up again, but soon enough it would be enjoyable. The bad thing is if you lose control of it. As long as you could control it, you should be fine, and it won't be MD. If you fear losing control again, then taking up other things to fill your time are good ideas. You did the right thing by looking for help to feel better. |
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Post by dreamer21 on May 13, 2020 7:42:30 GMT
 I started daydreaming when I was 12 and now I am 22. I found out last month that I daydream excessively because during this lockdown it was getting worse. I would spend a lot of my time fantasising about stuff that would often involve an imaginary audience. After some research I found out about 'Elkind's theory of adolescent egocentrism'. So since the very beginning I focused on not being ingratiating or Getting out of 'histrionic personality disorder'. but last month when I found out about maladaptive daydreaming i realised something that the imaginary audience was triggering the histrionic disorder traits like exhibitionist behaviour and feeling uncomfortable when part of group discussion where I am not the centre, and this HPD in turn would make me dream, it's a complete circle MD->imaginary audience ->HPD->MD. This habit of trying to please others has a left a void as to where I am supposed to be in life perhaps all this time I excelled in both academics and sports was to please people around me. WHAT WORKED FOR ME? so after finding out about this loop I found out that MD is the easiest one to end. The best way was meditation. it sounds girl-ish. never liked it. sit down and close your eyes it's better to sleep haha. mediation is much more than that after you close your eyes your mind starts wandering off and you slowly bring it back to reality and then it goes again and you bring it back. only 10 mins everyday is sufficient, trust me when you sit down 10 mins will seem like an hour. so whenever throughout the day you daydream that's basically your mind wandering off to different places and you bring it back because now you have been practicing how to control your thoughts I haven't day dreamed in like a long time only for 30 minutes or so through out the day that's natural(this isn't DD, it includes me about stuff and not fantasising about saving Scarlett Johansson). Haha. BUT HEY MD IS TRIGGERED BY SOCIAL MEDIA MORE THAN ANYTHING SO I QUIT INSTAGRAM I STILL HAVE WHATSAPP BECAUSE THAT'S JUST A TEXTING APP AND IMPORTANT PEOPLE CALL YOU FOR IMPORTANT STUFF NOT TEXT YOU ON INSTAGRAM. I broke that loop it's relaxing I can now invest more time in learning new stuff since then I have learned complete machine learning course Among other things. so meditate guys it will help for sure. 10 minutes anytime you find it to be more effective I do it in the morning. GET HIGH ON REALITY AND STEP OUT OF THE SECRET LIFE OF WALTERMITTY :P |
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about the whole situation 
it will be over once I get into adult life. Then I got a mediocre job and I learnt to MD at my office too. But I was obviously not satisfied with my progress in real life so I left my job and got back to studies and again I had to suffer failure because of MD. This time I was very hurt and really shaken to the core and decided to get rid of MD forever. And within several months I really got rid of it.(I can share how I did that if you want to know)
I started daydreaming when I was 12 and now I am 22. I found out last month that I daydream excessively because during this lockdown it was getting worse. I would spend a lot of my time fantasising about stuff that would often involve an imaginary audience. After some research I found out about 'Elkind's theory of adolescent egocentrism'. So since the very beginning I focused on not being ingratiating or Getting out of 'histrionic personality disorder'.