Post by lavenderdreams on Apr 4, 2020 2:58:57 GMT
Hello everyone! I'm LavenderDreams, you can just call me Lavender. I just happened to stumble across Maladaptive Daydreaming on a whim. I'd been on TikTok and someone had made a post about discovering they had this condition. I decided to look more into it and honestly it was so much like reading about myself that it scared me.
The two biggest indicators that resonated with me were the need for musical stimulation and pacing. You see I've been pacing in circles and listening to music almost every night since I was in 5th grade. To give you an idea of how long that has been, I've just recently turned 21 and have an associates degree. I believe that for me the trigger was likely when I was bullied. I dealt with severe bullying as soon as I had 5th grade. I would be made fun of for my hair, my height, my weight(all of these were untrue at the time of course). My parents are aware of my pacing, sometimes they make fun of me for it, but I've never quite been able to tell them why I do it. I didn't know there was a name for it up until now. I have vivid daydreams when I listen to my music, these can last anywhere from 20 minutes to 3-4 hours sometimes.
The biggest problem is how it has impacted my life. Ever since this started I have dealt on and off with severe depression and anxiety. Being able to daydream is what got me through it all, however now as I go to start my adult life and go off to university to get a specific degree I find I'm hitting a huge roadblock. I always felt that one day, somehow, these fantasies would become reality and I'm having a very hard time telling myself that in fact they won't. I've hit a road block as to whether or not I should try and pursue the dreams I've had in the daydreaming, or if it isn't worth it. Part of me is also ashamed to admit to my parents that I've come across this condition because I know they'll what to talk about my daydreams and I'm also far too embarrassed to talk about them in specific detail. For now I continue with it, but I'm hoping one day to break free from this.
Anyway, I'm glad to have found a forum of people who can understand. Nice to meet all of you and I hope to grow more with you in the future!
The two biggest indicators that resonated with me were the need for musical stimulation and pacing. You see I've been pacing in circles and listening to music almost every night since I was in 5th grade. To give you an idea of how long that has been, I've just recently turned 21 and have an associates degree. I believe that for me the trigger was likely when I was bullied. I dealt with severe bullying as soon as I had 5th grade. I would be made fun of for my hair, my height, my weight(all of these were untrue at the time of course). My parents are aware of my pacing, sometimes they make fun of me for it, but I've never quite been able to tell them why I do it. I didn't know there was a name for it up until now. I have vivid daydreams when I listen to my music, these can last anywhere from 20 minutes to 3-4 hours sometimes.
The biggest problem is how it has impacted my life. Ever since this started I have dealt on and off with severe depression and anxiety. Being able to daydream is what got me through it all, however now as I go to start my adult life and go off to university to get a specific degree I find I'm hitting a huge roadblock. I always felt that one day, somehow, these fantasies would become reality and I'm having a very hard time telling myself that in fact they won't. I've hit a road block as to whether or not I should try and pursue the dreams I've had in the daydreaming, or if it isn't worth it. Part of me is also ashamed to admit to my parents that I've come across this condition because I know they'll what to talk about my daydreams and I'm also far too embarrassed to talk about them in specific detail. For now I continue with it, but I'm hoping one day to break free from this.
Anyway, I'm glad to have found a forum of people who can understand. Nice to meet all of you and I hope to grow more with you in the future!
