Post by opheliabates on Jul 18, 2020 7:16:28 GMT
Hey, I’m Ophelia and well, I’m pretty sure I’m a maladaptive daydreamer. I didn’t really know anything about it until late, but I’m glad to see that I’m not alone. Well, it started really when I was about seven, if I had to guess, and it just spiraled out of control from there. When I was younger, I loved to write stories. I was obsessed with it, only asking for notebooks and pencils for Christmas and birthdays, daydreaming about all the vivid scenarios that I would write about and overall just always being 
to pick up a pen. Well, then I started to get older. Let’s say, twelve, and I still loved to write but my daydreaming was in a whole other ballpark. I would go outside for hours at a time, just to daydream, I’d stay up late at night, my mind racing, and I’d hardly get any sleep. In school, I would zone out. While doing homework, I’d zone out. While talking to people, I’d zone out. While eating, I’d zone out. Basically, I could connect every little thing I did with a daydream and snap back I to it. I mostly daydream about fantasy. I do it sort of like a book style so when I’m talking in my characters head it would be something like, “Slowly, I turned to her, my eyes glazing over in a calm, lethal rage,” or something like that. But when I was 12, I could control it more or less. Like, if I wanted to stop, I could tell myself to stop, and I would for awhile. But now, it’s basically consumed my life. I can’t think, breathe, or just exist without daydreaming and I think about it so much that my head starts pounding and even sleep can’t get me out of its grasp. I’ve restarted daydreams all over again because they’re not perfect enough and all that does is make me feel worthless and hopeless and just horrible. I can’t read anymore without daydreaming, I can’t write anymore because the characters on my computer screen aren’t as perfect as those in my head. I walk 12 miles (good for me physically, I know) everyday no matter the temperature because I need to daydream and it’s harder to do when I’m sitting. It’s gonna sound weird but let’s say I’m playing something like, COD. I’ll turn it into a story. I can’t just enjoy the game anymore. If it’s like geometry dash, a game about shapes, I’ll somehow turn it into something. It’s so addicting to just take a step back from reality but I just hate writing now when I used to love it. I still love it but I can’t do it. I want help, but don’t know how to seek it, my expectations for things get so high and then I just fall. I don’t know what to do anymore because to my family and friends, they think I can get my head out of the clouds but it’s not something I’m ready to give up. I want to, but I don’t. Sorry if this was long. I just really needed to rant.
to pick up a pen. Well, then I started to get older. Let’s say, twelve, and I still loved to write but my daydreaming was in a whole other ballpark. I would go outside for hours at a time, just to daydream, I’d stay up late at night, my mind racing, and I’d hardly get any sleep. In school, I would zone out. While doing homework, I’d zone out. While talking to people, I’d zone out. While eating, I’d zone out. Basically, I could connect every little thing I did with a daydream and snap back I to it. I mostly daydream about fantasy. I do it sort of like a book style so when I’m talking in my characters head it would be something like, “Slowly, I turned to her, my eyes glazing over in a calm, lethal rage,” or something like that. But when I was 12, I could control it more or less. Like, if I wanted to stop, I could tell myself to stop, and I would for awhile. But now, it’s basically consumed my life. I can’t think, breathe, or just exist without daydreaming and I think about it so much that my head starts pounding and even sleep can’t get me out of its grasp. I’ve restarted daydreams all over again because they’re not perfect enough and all that does is make me feel worthless and hopeless and just horrible. I can’t read anymore without daydreaming, I can’t write anymore because the characters on my computer screen aren’t as perfect as those in my head. I walk 12 miles (good for me physically, I know) everyday no matter the temperature because I need to daydream and it’s harder to do when I’m sitting. It’s gonna sound weird but let’s say I’m playing something like, COD. I’ll turn it into a story. I can’t just enjoy the game anymore. If it’s like geometry dash, a game about shapes, I’ll somehow turn it into something. It’s so addicting to just take a step back from reality but I just hate writing now when I used to love it. I still love it but I can’t do it. I want help, but don’t know how to seek it, my expectations for things get so high and then I just fall. I don’t know what to do anymore because to my family and friends, they think I can get my head out of the clouds but it’s not something I’m ready to give up. I want to, but I don’t. Sorry if this was long. I just really needed to rant.
