Post by fabello90 on Aug 4, 2020 22:43:06 GMT
Hello everyone, I’m new here. I wanted to share my personal experience with daydreaming. I came across ‘maladaptive daydreaming’ yesterday while googling why I excessively daydream to try and find some answers and I did find some of the ‘symptoms’ pretty relatable. That’s how I found this forum. I don’t know for sure that ‘maladaptive daydreaming’ is what I have / suffer from because I also struggle a lot with anxiety and for most of my life I’ve just put the daydreaming down to my creativity and being a pisces! But I have days where I get really frustrated with myself because it often feels like I’m not in control of my mind and it gets in the way of everyday tasks like my day job and supermarket shopping and having conversations with people. As I said, I don’t know that I definitely have / suffer with maladaptive daydreaming but below I’ve written out my personal experience in the hope that someone on here can relate so I feel a bit less alone with it all! Pre-warning, I tend to write essays so it’s a lot to read but thank you in advance for anyone that has the time!
When I was a little girl between the ages of 4-6 I have pretty vivid memories of pacing up and down a pathway next to some trees at the edge of the school playground, completely in my own little world. I’d imagine all sorts of creatures jumping between the leaves and would often find it quite blissful and a happy experience. My teachers would always have to call me over because I wasn’t playing with the other kids and they were probably worried that I’d wonder off too far.
I also remember turning my daydreams into games with my brothers as a child and I would assign them roles to play in my stories and give them lines to say. I think it was fun for everyone but sometimes I think they got upset with me ordering them around!
In my teens my pacing daydreams became a little more intense and emotional. I would usually close my bedroom door and pace up and down my room, also looking in the mirror as part of the repetitive ‘route’ I took around my room. I would imagine full conversations with my friends and family. Sometimes they would feel so intense and real that I would burst into tears or laugh out loud or get angry. Most of the time they were conversations that had never happened and would be completely made up. It would be everything from imagining breaking up with people or someone close to me dying to marriage proposals and me crying with happiness.
As I’ve gotten older I’ve found that I don’t imagine conversations as much, at least not to the extent and intensity that I used to, but it’s mainly due to rarely having my own space as I live in a small flat with my boyfriend. If I do imagine conversations it’s usually while in the shower and I still respond emotionally to them as I did in my teens.
I find that my daydreams happen both involuntary and voluntarily. I think as I’ve gotten older I’ve realised that anxiety and boredom are the main reasons for my daydreaming. When I’m anxious or having a day where my mood is particularly low I tend to zone out as a form of escapism. I suffer a lot from social anxiety in particular so meetings at work can be really difficult because I find it incredibly hard to listen as I’m constantly
about what I should say or if I should speak up and what my colleagues will think if I do. I don’t know if this is really daydreaming or just racing thoughts as a result of anxiety but I know that I definitely don’t feel present in the moment and I often have to ask people to repeat themselves if they ask me a question which can be embarrassing.
There have also been times where I’m getting on with work and then I’ll start to daydream and instead of working I’ll google things to feed my daydream even more and I just end up wasting time when I should be working..
More recently my memory has been incredibly bad. Friends and family will talk about ‘that time when’ as if it’s so significant and clear to them and these are memories I should have too but I just don’t remember. I think it’s because I’m never fully present. I’m always half in a dream land…
There are times when I really enjoy how vivid and colourful and creative my daydreams can be. Listening to music is one of my favourite ways to drift off into made up worlds. I’ve spent very long periods of time in deep thought while listening to music. I often play our entire imaginary music videos on my mind and it’s quite a peaceful experience. I’ve found it to be more enjoyable than the in flight entertainment on a plane and I’ve daydreamed for hours while travelling.
That’s all for now. Thanks again if you’ve taken the time to read this. I’d love to hear your thoughts or any similar experiences.
When I was a little girl between the ages of 4-6 I have pretty vivid memories of pacing up and down a pathway next to some trees at the edge of the school playground, completely in my own little world. I’d imagine all sorts of creatures jumping between the leaves and would often find it quite blissful and a happy experience. My teachers would always have to call me over because I wasn’t playing with the other kids and they were probably worried that I’d wonder off too far.
I also remember turning my daydreams into games with my brothers as a child and I would assign them roles to play in my stories and give them lines to say. I think it was fun for everyone but sometimes I think they got upset with me ordering them around!
In my teens my pacing daydreams became a little more intense and emotional. I would usually close my bedroom door and pace up and down my room, also looking in the mirror as part of the repetitive ‘route’ I took around my room. I would imagine full conversations with my friends and family. Sometimes they would feel so intense and real that I would burst into tears or laugh out loud or get angry. Most of the time they were conversations that had never happened and would be completely made up. It would be everything from imagining breaking up with people or someone close to me dying to marriage proposals and me crying with happiness.
As I’ve gotten older I’ve found that I don’t imagine conversations as much, at least not to the extent and intensity that I used to, but it’s mainly due to rarely having my own space as I live in a small flat with my boyfriend. If I do imagine conversations it’s usually while in the shower and I still respond emotionally to them as I did in my teens.
I find that my daydreams happen both involuntary and voluntarily. I think as I’ve gotten older I’ve realised that anxiety and boredom are the main reasons for my daydreaming. When I’m anxious or having a day where my mood is particularly low I tend to zone out as a form of escapism. I suffer a lot from social anxiety in particular so meetings at work can be really difficult because I find it incredibly hard to listen as I’m constantly
about what I should say or if I should speak up and what my colleagues will think if I do. I don’t know if this is really daydreaming or just racing thoughts as a result of anxiety but I know that I definitely don’t feel present in the moment and I often have to ask people to repeat themselves if they ask me a question which can be embarrassing.There have also been times where I’m getting on with work and then I’ll start to daydream and instead of working I’ll google things to feed my daydream even more and I just end up wasting time when I should be working..
More recently my memory has been incredibly bad. Friends and family will talk about ‘that time when’ as if it’s so significant and clear to them and these are memories I should have too but I just don’t remember. I think it’s because I’m never fully present. I’m always half in a dream land…
There are times when I really enjoy how vivid and colourful and creative my daydreams can be. Listening to music is one of my favourite ways to drift off into made up worlds. I’ve spent very long periods of time in deep thought while listening to music. I often play our entire imaginary music videos on my mind and it’s quite a peaceful experience. I’ve found it to be more enjoyable than the in flight entertainment on a plane and I’ve daydreamed for hours while travelling.
That’s all for now. Thanks again if you’ve taken the time to read this. I’d love to hear your thoughts or any similar experiences.
