i've done some research and stumbled upon a confusing term

Failure to regulate emotions means that a person has the inability to understand and to control their emotions or behaviors. Good emotional intelligence is the persons ability to manage their emotions in a healthy way and respond appropriately to the feelings and needs of themself and others.

People with good emotional regulation usually have calmer temperament, a better understanding and ability to form healthy relationships with others, can tolerate unpleasant emotions and recover from setbacks on their own or with the help of others.

Those people with poor ability to regulate their emotions have behaviours and emotions that can be very quickly changeable and extreme in nature. They can't express feelings in constructive ways so instead behave reactively, lashing out before they have a chance to think of the consequences. If the person lacks the ability to self sooth they often can develop unhealthy coping mechanisms to deal with negative emotional states.